reality czech

The End's Not Near, It's Here*

2008-02-29T20:37:00.003+01:00

The time has come for my new blog/website!

Here is the address. Click it to proceed.

www.nathanbhughes.com

Thanks for your patience!

*This is the title of the final episode of the O.C., but also a song by The New Year that was later covered by Band of Horses.

i should be in better shape

2008-02-15T19:04:00.002+01:00

while watching prison break tonight, i realized that i should start working out. because if i ever have to escape from prison for a crime i didn't commit, i'll need to be able to run for a long time...

ps: i'm still working on my new site...hopefully it'll be up by the end of the month

in honor of the king

2008-01-21T23:13:00.000+01:00

read this:

i will never celebrate this day the same.

iron

2008-01-20T14:36:00.001+01:00

wine

2008-01-20T14:33:00.001+01:00

top se7en (or 12): revisited

2008-01-06T14:05:00.000+01:00

my buddy josh sent me an email a couple days ago asking me and some friends to send him our top twelve tracks of the past year. in an effort to bring about more cooperation i thought i'd post the rules here to get more people involved.

the rules:

1. the song had to have been released in 2007

2. one song per artist/band (this will make it more interesting)

while the standard procedure is to rank the songs in order of "best-ness", please make an effort to rank your songs creatively. think of it as your personal soundtrack of the year. if you want to and some comments feel free. out of the thousands of songs that we've heard this year a little perspective on what makes particular song stand out is important.

please email me the list by Friday 1/11 at: nhughes (at) josiahventure (dot) com.

after they are in josh will compile the songs and i'll post them here.

Under Construction

2008-01-04T09:59:00.000+01:00

Warning! Men at Work

well, actually there is only one man at work (me).

i'm currently:

messing around with my blog/thinking of moving to a different platform/thinking of starting a photo only blog/wondering what to do next/wanting to podcast/etc/atd

please be patient.

top se7en moments of oh-se7en

2007-12-31T10:32:00.000+01:00

|seven: blazers, niners, and giants...oh my!|

oh-se7en marked the first time that i've seen all three of my favorite sports teams play in the same year! living in czech makes it tough to watch sports at all, so to be able to attend these games was such a blessing. it was extra special considering i got to see barry bonds' final game as a giant (and maybe ever) with my dad.

|six: concerts|

oh-se7en also marked the year of the concert for me. without sports in czech, music and photography have become that much more important to me. czech also isn't a hub for the type of music that i like, so i had to travel (chicago, portland, and london respectively) to see some concerts, but it was well worth it. the new pornographers (name taken from a jimmy swaggart comment: rock and roll is the new pornography) are fabulous live. it was also great to see some up and coming british bands at nme's indie rock fest as well as new band, grand archives, in portland.

|five: tat|

it means, 'i have redeemed you' in hebrew. i've wanted to get the word redeemed on my wrist for over two years, so it was quite a great experience to finally get it. and it totally didn't hurt as bad as everyone said it would...

|four: weddings and engagements|

it is amazing that despite of how i look people continue to ask me to be in their weddings! it was awesome to be the best man in jared, one of my old disciples, and jordan's wedding as well as being second best (!) man in daddio's wedding.

also, a few weeks ago, my best friend proposed to tereza. joe and i have walked through a lot of life together and have spent endless hours discussing girls. i am so thrilled for them and am excited to see how God uses them to advance His Kingdom!!

|three: inner city chicago|

one of the highlights of my time to the states was being able to spend two hours at an inner-city christian school in chicago. i got the opportunity to speak to third-sixth graders about life as a missionary. it was so much fun to share with them, hear their questions, as well as play games. one of the kids even rapped for me!

as i drove away praying, i realized what a significant impact my time there could've had. kristen, the teacher, told me before hand that these kids have very few male role models and most of them have no concept of education past high school. for me to be there and to have fun with them, share about my life could've had a serious impact on the lives of these young boys and girls. to think that God could've used my time there to inspire some of these kids to go to college or even if God were to use me to get these kids thinking about missions is truly humbling.

|two: passion07|

i opened the new year in hotlanta for passion07. i had always heard great things and loved the music, but my time there was exceptional. from hanging out with ondra, representing jv in the mission mobilization area, meeting young men and women passionate about serving Christ, worshipping with 20,000 people, talks from john piper and francis chan, and just participating in the entire global awareness area.

it was a brilliant way to start the year!

|one: 50!|

before the summer started i felt that God was calling me to pray that fifty students would come to know Christ this summer. that number may not sound like a lot in american terms, but considering we had twelve the summer before, it was a huge step of faith to pray for that big of number. i guess i knew God could do it, but as camp after camp went by and more and more students began to begin relationships with the living God, i began to realize that it really was possible.

now, upon final count (which is always a difficult task), we had 48 students who we could count. i really believe that God was calling me to pray for 50, so i am choosing to believe that somewhere in the counting we missed 2 students!

top se7en picture of oh-se7en

2007-12-30T11:05:00.001+01:00

|seven|

location: providence, ri

subject: jyll ethier-mullen

|six|

location: somewhere, czech republic

subject: lucka zagorova

|five|

location: orlicke hory, czech republic

|four|

location: prague, czech republic

subject: aubrey peth

|three|

location: katowice, poland

subject: billy van kirk

|two|

location: cesky krumlov, czech republic

subject: jessica red

|one|

location: pribor, czech republic

|honorable mentions|

location: lisbon, portugal

subjects: jozka, lucka, er bear, em, and me

location: portland, oregon

location: lisbon, portugal

subject: banana

location: prague, czech republic

subjects: matt peterson and jen solstad

location: austrian alps

subjects: johnny stevens and david bordner

top se7en verses of oh se7en

2007-12-29T16:31:00.001+01:00

|seven|

beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven_matthew 6.1

_you'll see through some of these verses that God has worked big time this year on areas of pride and seeking glory. i've been studying matthew this fall and this is one of the verses that has really impacted me as i've struggled with striving after receiving glory and praise from man.

|six|

for the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life_galatians 6.8

_in pursuing holiness, and failing often, this verse opened my eyes to the fact that where we sow (ie what we watch, think about, care for, etc) will be played out in our lives in the fruit that we bear. we can't just expect to cut off bad fruit and expect good fruit to grow if the fertilizer that we are using for our tree is made of bad things. the only way to produce good fruit is to sow to the Spirit and let the Spirit reap things eternal.

|five|

for am i now seeking the approval of man, or of God? or am i trying to please man? if i were still trying to please man, i would not be a servant of Christ_galatians 1.10

_galatians was my place of study in the spring, so hence the back-to-back references. again, this verse harkens back to my struggle with pride and striving after the praise and approval of men. i desire to be like paul who was a servant of Christ foremost, not a man seeking the approval of man.

|four|

He must increase, but i must decrease_john 3.30

_once again, another verse about living a life that would bring glory and honor to Christ and not to myself.

|three|

fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand_isaiah 41.10

_every year at our new year's service at church everyone chooses a bookmark that has been prayed over and on that bookmark is a verse for the year. since i was in the states last year i had lucka's dad get one for me. this was the verse. i wasn't sure what to make of the "casting of lots" style of obtaining a verse for the year, but this verse was a huge help during the prep for the summer and the subsequent pulling off of the summer. there were nights were i couldn't sleep because my mind was spinning trying to solve problems for the summer. i often found myself resting in this truth. there is something comforting about know that my work here is because of and for God and ultimately it is His work. there is no reason to fear for it is He who holds me up.

|two|

charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised _proverbs 31.30

_i find it odd that traditionally it is women who study proverbs 31 so thoroughly, when it is actually a passage written to a young man. it is a shame that more of us men don't study this passage often. i speak that from experience, because i always viewed it as "the woman's passage" and glossed over it my study of proverbs.

i am completely messed up when it comes to women. i have these outrageous and unfulfillable expectations of what i want in a wife. they are absurd. seriously. oh, she's too tall. oh, she's not wearing vans. oh, she doesn't have dark hair. oh, she likes the dodgers. oh... oh... oh...

this year, i finally realize that the things that i have held in highest value are charm and beauty. i didn't call them that, but that is what they were. of course, she needs to love God. and of course, she has to want to do missions. but what was primary wasn't these attributes, it was is she cute and fun?

so, this fall, i've found myself reading and praying through proverbs 31. i still feel like i am a long ways from corrected in my thinking, but i think God is changing me. it is 29 years of jacked up thinking. i just hope it doesn't take another 29 to get me desiring what He desires.

|one|

...and raised us up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus _ephesians 2.6

_this verse, more than any other, has radically changed my life.

my struggle with pride is well documented in this posting and i want to catch you up on how i got to this place of realizing what a grip it had on my life.

while at our spring conference, dave patty-president of jv-was speaking on personal transformation. he was paralleling the lives of david and saul and talking about why david was called a man after God's own heart and while saul's life ended so poorly. one of his main points was regarding repentance. as we talked through this he asked us to pray and ask for God to show us an area of our life that isn't transformed and to ask us to have God show us something about it. i am a visual person and so as i was praying i saw myself standing in the isaiah 6 throne room of God. the room was filled with the glory of the Lord and His robes filled the room. i was given a glimpse from God's perspective and what i saw was myself, very small, dressed like a thief with a pair of scissors. i was creeping through the throne room thinking i wasn't being seen, but in the white-holiness of God my black-clad body was apparent. i was creeping around snipping off pieces of God's robe and trying to cover myself in His glory.

this vision was instantaneous and powerful.

it was the first time in my life that i realized how prideful i am and how much i am trying to gain glory...stealing it from God even.

fast forward to our intern training...

dave spoke again, this time on ephesians. since the spring conference a few months earlier i really felt God make me more aware of my pride and begin giving me victory over it. but, one problem is that i still had this vision in my mind of me in the throne room stealing from God and didn't really have something new and true to replace it with.

during the study dave shared about ephesians 2.6. for me this verse has always been lost in the race to read ephesians 2.8-9. as dave shared the truth that our position in Christ is with Him in the heavenlies! i knew i had my answer.

we know that Christ is seated at the right hand of God.

so if we are seated with Christ in the heavenlies...

than

we are seated with Christ at the right hand of God.

i now had my new picture. i do not need to walk around stealing from God's glory, because i am seated with Christ at the Father's right hand. God's glory is my glory, through Christ. He has clothed me with His robes and i don't need to steal small pieces from Him!

top se7en places of oh se7en

2007-12-28T10:12:00.000+01:00

|seven|

chicago: i am a west coaster through and through, but if i were to live anywhere east of colorado it would be chicago.

company: moody students, beth and dan, martel, bronston

|six|

austrian alps: snow wasn't great, but the weather was unbelievable!

company: jv men!

|five|

providence: i love visiting new places and providence may be the portland of the east...city with a small town flavor.

company: mullens and bergers

|four|

at&t ballpark: bonds' final game as a giant (maybe ever), the city by the bay, the best stadium in mlb, and my dad: priceless

company: dad

|three|

puerto vallarta: just a beautiful location. i don't know if it was the place as much as the fact that i did nothing but read and chill with my parents.

company: mom and dad

|two|

portland: my time there just reconfirmed the fact that if i ever move back to the states it will be to portland. great art and music scene. city with a small town feel. great neighborhoods with privately owned coffee shops, restaurants, and breweries.

company: josh, pete, and aubree

|one|

portugal: a fabulous vacation spot. if it wasn't so far away i'd go there every summer for vacation. great food, inexpensive, good surf, breathtaking sunsets, majestic cliffs.

company: jozka, em, lucka, and er bear.

top se7en movies of oh se7en

2007-12-27T11:33:00.000+01:00

*once again, the movie didn't have to be released in oh se7en, just watched by me in oh se7en.

|seven|

gosh, all my childhood dreams came true upon the release of this movie...only g.i. joe could be better.

amazing battle scenes, flawless transformations, and a bit of humor to boot.

|six|

oh, leo. i can't believe how far you've come. my dislike for you was as big as the titanic (which in my opinion is the most overrated movie in cinematic history). everything changed with the aviator and you've only continued to impress.

heartfelt and stirring. father-son movies always bring tears to my eyes and watching the lengths Solomon goes to save his son proved it true again.

|five|

a musical in every sense of the word. the plot is simple and really designed around the music, which is brilliant and heartfelt. finally a love story that looks and feels like real life and where the characters don't just give in to impulse.

plus it has a czech in it, so that always raises the value of things!

|four|
as stated in my post on the top books, i love road trips and stories of travelers. that is exactly what this one is. the movie parallels the travel of Christopher McCandless and the people he meets with his time in the alaskan wilderness alone.

while the idea of embarking on a journey to live alone in the alaskan wilderness is sexy, it is obvious watching the movie that we are built for community, as the best parts of the movie are when he interacts with the people he meets on his travels.

the vince vaughn cameo is also entertaining!

|three|
absolutely ridiculous in every way. rodriguez and tarantino do a brilliant job of creating the feel of old 70s style b-movies, with their poor production, over the top gore and cheesy humor.

death proof is classic tarantino with heavy dialogue and one of the most insane car accidents i've ever seen.

planet terror is the most entertaining movie i saw all year. zombies dying in grotesque ways and a girl with a machine gun/rocket-launcher/blowtorch attached to her leg...brilliant!

|two|

entire psychology classes could be taught around the themes in this movie. heart-wrenching and powerful. don cheadle and adam sandler play well together and liv tyler and jada pinkett smith are great compliments.

along side of spanglish, adam sandler is proving to be more than just billy madison (which is a personal fav).

|one|
it would've been pure robbery if this movie didn't win an oscar. it had everything: scorsese, dicaprio (two times in this top se7en!), damon, nicholson, sheen, and even marky mark (i heard that he'll beat the crap out of anyone who calls him that still...hopefully he doesn't read my blog).

i loved every part of this movie...the intrigue, the double crossing, the acting...just brilliant!

top se7en books of oh-se7en

2007-12-26T10:23:00.000+01:00

|seven|

fascinating story of a father and son fighting to live in post-apocalyptic america. dark, yet moments of hope. from the same author who wrote no country for old men.

|six|

the similarities between pan and i are endless! to see why read this previous post. much darker and much better than what we all grew up watching!

|five|
rob bell is my sensei...well, actually jesus is, but rob bell speaks to me. this is a great book on human sexuality and how it relates to our relationship with God. chapters sexy on the inside and under the chuppah are brilliantly insightful.

for the singles out there i'd encourage you to download bell's sexy on the inside sermon. it is one of the best sermons i've heard on our value "even though we aren't married". please insert as much sarcasm as possible within the quote marks!

|four|
history fascinates me. especially the hippie era. there was so much happening politically, socially, and musically. this is probably the best book i've read on the era. kurlansky dives into everything that was happening in the world at the time giving sufficient pre-history to understand the full weight of the events of '68.

for those who love czech, obviously, this is the year of prague spring and he does a fabulous job covering it, even devoting multiple chapters.

|three|

i love road trips. there is something about starting out on an adventure to somewhere new, not knowing what you're going to experience. because of that i love stories of travelers. this is an amazing story of a man (and his dog) seeking answers to life and giving america one last chance and finding that america is all about the people.

|two|

warning: do not read this if you like living your life the way you have been.

this book rocked (and is currently still rocking) my world. shane's heart for the poor and marginalized is convicting and inspiring and probably not too far off of jesus'.

|one|

here comes the history again...

mlk jr. may have been the most important person of the 60s if not the second half of the 20th century. the lengths he went to inspire an entire race (and some of the nation) to enact the laws set forth after the civil war is amazing. his love for his people and his faith in Christ were his why and ghandi's example of non-violent resistance was his how.

i was surprised to see how much his faith influenced why he did what he did.

honorable mention:

the fall_camus

the great divorce_lewis

slaughterhouse five_vonnegut

don quiote_cervantes

top se7en albums of oh-se7en

2007-12-25T11:40:00.000+01:00

*it should be noted that while these are the top of oh-se7en that doesn't mean that they were necessarily released in oh-se7en, just that i discovered them in oh-se7en

|se7en|

genre: rock

formed: greenville, il

top songs: sundays best, boston, bullets

|six|

genre: euro indie rock

formed: stockholm, sweden

top songs: paris 2004, young folks, objects of my affection

|five|

genre: indie folk

formed: portland, or

top songs: hardwood pews, finch on saturday, in our blood

|four|

genre: soundtrack, light rock

formed: ireland and czech republic

top songs: lies, falling slowly, when your mind's made up

|three|

genre: alternative

formed: seattle, wa

top songs: detlef schrempf, is there a ghost, no one's gonna love you

|two|

genre: alternative

formed: long island, ny

top songs: buttoned down, this is the end, i'd be lying

|one|

genre: alternative

formed: vancouver, bc

top songs: myriad harbor, challengers, go places

honorable mentions:

until june - until june

alligator - the national

begin to hope - regina spektor

two thoughts on christmas

2007-12-25T10:48:00.000+01:00

the last two days i've read the christmas story from matthew and luke. there were two things that struck me particularly.

[one]

i was really trying to get a good feel for the anticipation of the Christ. i tried to imagine myself as a pre-Christ Jew. God has been silent for 400 years. i know that the Christ is supposed to be coming. i've been trying to live in obedience to the Law. i imagined that the excitement and anticipation in Israel must have been palpable.

but then i then i thought about today. i thought about how we still are expecting the second arrival of Christ. i thought about how we have been waiting 2000! years. i thought about how i have the holy spirit and yet i still don't always feel like God has spoken to me in a long time. i thought of how i don't anticipate the second coming of Christ that much at all on a regular basis.

i realized that maybe the excitement wasn't there.

i realized that there were many religious people who were just going on with their normal lives as God was sending His Word to become flesh.

no wonder Jesus was born in a manger with only a couple of shepherds and gentiles as his visitors.

but, then there is simeon.

this is what the scriptures say about him:

"[he] was righteous and devout, waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. And it had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not see death before he had seen the Lord's Christ."

this is a man who was longing for the Kingdom. he was daily anticipating the arrival of the Christ. and when He came he was ready!

oh, how i pray that we would be like simeon...daily anticipating the second coming of Christ.

[two]

as protestants, we have done a great disservice to mary. in an effort to correct the near deification of mary by the roman catholics, i think we have overlooked her significance.

this is what was said about mary:

_an angel calls her "favored one" and then says, "you have found favor with God!"

_elizabeth says, "blessed are you among women"

mary herself has a brilliant poem called the magnificat:

"my soul magnifies the Lord,

and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,

for he has looked on the

humble estate of his servant.

For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed;

for he who is mighty has done great things for me,

and holy is his name.

And his mercy is for those who fear him

from generation to generation.

He has shown strength with his arm;

he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts;

he has brought down the mighty from their thrones

and exalted those of humble estate;

he has filled the hungry with good things,

and the rich he has sent empty away.

He has helped his servant Israel,

in remembrance of his mercy,

as he spoke to our fathers,

to Abraham and to his offspring forever."

for me, the most significant piece is that out of all the women in the world God chose mary. she was the one in whom God found favor. she is the one considered worthy to bear the Christ child and rear him.

mary, mother of Jesus.

mother

Jesus

let those words sink in.

mary was the mother of the one we call savior.

she doesn't need to be worshipped, but we shouldn't negate her significance simply because others choose to do so.

as we celebrate jesus today, let us not overlook the sweet fact that God has chosen us, even in our humble estate, to play our part in the story of redemptive history and that one woman was found favored enough to carry Christ in her womb.

se7en top se7ens in two thousand se7en

2007-12-24T09:58:00.000+01:00

starting tomorrow i will list my top sevens in '07.

here is the schedule:

25_music

26_books

27_movies

28_places

29_verses

30_pictures

31_moments

stay tuned...

what do chuck norris and i have in common?

2007-12-22T22:20:00.000+01:00

i'll give you three hints:

one_i don't have any uzis

two_i don't have a gigantic american flag

three_believe it or not, i don't own a sleeveless denim shirt

the answer:

we are both officially endorsing mike huckabee for president.

this has been one of the most difficult races for me to get behind a candidate. i haven't been very impressed with anyone and having become a bit more liberal over the last couple of years i've thrown out my default republican status. i've pretty much stayed morally conservative, but i have become much more fiscally liberal. i knew finding someone who met those requirements would be a difficult task.

three or four months ago i took a poll on usatoday.com in which i answered multiple question in reference to key issues and then rated the importance of each issue. upon completion of the poll it told you which candidate you were most like. here were my results:

i was rather surprised, because a. i thought i'd be closer to some democratic candidates and b. i didn't really know much about huckabee. at the time i kept him in the back of my mind, but wasn't really hearing much about him.

well, for those who pay attention to the primary races, you know that huckabee is gaining major steam. because of that, there was a huge article in last week's newsweek. i picked it up on a whim to read on my flight back to czech. needless to say i was extremely impressed.

_seminary graduate

_baptist preacher for 19 years

_fiscally liberal (republicans are calling him a "closet liberal")

_lover of justice (as governor he attacked the judicial system for disproportionate sentencing of black males for drug crimes compared to white males convicted of the same crime)

_great leader (loved in traditionally-democratic arakansas)

_focused on education

most pundits are saying that even if he wins the republican primary there is NO WAY he can win the general election. that leads me to a classic political debate: do you vote for who you think is the best candidate or do you vote for who you think has the best chance of winning for your party. as a registered independent, this is a moot point for me, but you can look to my alan keyes vote in 2000 as proof of voting for who i think is the best candidate!

we're entering into one of the most exciting times in american politics. not only is the primary and eventual general election process exciting (i sound like a dork, but did you know that i have my b.s. in political science?), but i have a feeling that this is going to go down as one of the more important elections of our time. our country is at a crucial juncture and who we elect could have a huge impact on our future.

so, there it is. huckabee for president. it has a nice ring to it.

[IMPORTANT NOTE: PLEASE READ]

i feel it imperative that you don't regard this as my plea for you to vote for huckabee. as a political scientist (i paid a lot of money to asu to be able to say that), i believe in the political process wholeheartedly and love the election season. this was more of an attempt to show you, faithful reader, what my process was for choosing a candidate.

America vs. Czech, part two

2007-12-18T11:08:00.000+01:00

i'm now back in czech.

its cold.

snow lines the streets.

in honor of both my native land and my new home, i will list my second installment of "america vs. czech"...in this edition i will focus on what habits i will have to unlearn and things to get used to again...

_ no more driving and talking on my cell phone

_ no more drinking a beer and then driving (czech has a no tolerance policy...no .08 limit, .0001 is a DUI

_ when i hear english in the background i can be surprised again

_ no more wearing my shoes inside of houses

_ back to normal sized everything...meals, cars, coffee*

_ back to communion w. real wine! (i just realized the moral dilemma i have when driving to church...is it illegal to drive home after having had communion?)

_ people will stop at crosswalks for me again...in czech, you are required to stop at a crosswalk for pedestrians, not so in america, so there were multiple times in which my life hung by a thread after assuming czech laws while crossing the street in america

_ back to food with cumin...this has to be the worst spice ever invented and czechs use it in everything! even if it is not intended to be in things it still ends up in it. there are two regular occurrences here that are quite disappointing.

one: "hidden cumin". this occurs most often in one of my favorite lunch treats. it is a roll with sauce, ham, and melted cheese. mmmm, tasty! but, sometimes the baker does the unthinkable: hiding cumin under the melted cheese. imagine my shock as i take that first bite into tasty goodness and then,

what?

what is that terrible taste destroying my tastebuds?

oh, no, it can't be.

it is.

[right fist thrust high in the air]

blast you, cumin, blast you!

two: "unintentional cumin". since cumin is found on many different savoury baked goods, it can be found everywhere in a bakery. the problem with this is that the little cumin seed hates staying attached to its home. you see, cumin is a tyrant. cumin loves to come in (pun, unintentional) and destroy. it is a home wrecker. it is a thief of goodness, robbing from delicious. so, cumin will often detach itself from its home and find its way into pastries! this is the "unintentional cumin". imagine my surprise when biting into a tasty blueberry danish and again, that nefarious (yeah, i used a thesaurus for that one) spice has made its way into my mouth. oh, the despair. oh, wretched cumin, how i hate you!

*side note_i put on [at least] 10 pounds while in america. i think it was due to many factors not normally experienced in czech:

1. eating out at every meal

2. in czech it is customary to eat all the food on your plate, which normally isn't an issue, but that compulsion never left when i was in america, so while eating enormous meals i just kept eating and eating and eating...

3. [at least] one starbucks a day...often more

i was homeless last night...

2007-11-30T06:53:00.000+01:00

for 30 minutes.

my friend shane is a youth pastor in conway, arkansas. this summer when he was out in czech we talked about me coming to conway to hang out with his youth group and speak. since i had dreads and a huge goatee, he thought it would be great to do the classic "poor man in front of the church" lesson.

even though i shaved my head and had a partially grown beard, we still went for it.

_________________________

i'll be honest, it was completely different than what i expected.

people stopped.

two men talked to me.

one asked me what i needed.

i was given over $23.

there seemed to be genuine care from multiple students.

sure there were cars that drove by and students/parents who ignored me.

kids stared.

eyes were averted.

but, when talking to the students (junior highers), they expressed their emotions towards me

_compassion

_fear

_sorrow

_pain

_confusion

i was also shocked at what was stirring in me.

i felt completely undignified. i felt like garbage.

worthless.

hopeless.

sorrow.

loneliness.

____________________

God has been working on my heart a lot over the past four months regarding the poor and marginalized.

it all started with a book. irresistible revolution messed me up. i'm not going to say that i agree with everything that shane wrote, but as i read the book i felt like my heart and beliefs were being thrown in a blender and set on puree.

one of the things that shane said that really messed me up was (and i paraphrase), "often times we try to make the bible make sense, we contextualize, but maybe when Christ said, 'sell all you have and give it to the poor' that is what he meant."

as i read the scriptures (both old and new covenant) and as i try to understand this Jesus that i am following, i can't help but to see His (and God the Father's) heart for the poor and marginalized.

what i wrestle with is how does that fit into my call?

i know that God has called me to the czech. i have never felt closer to God and His desire for me than i do now. but how do i apply what God is teaching me with what i'm learning?

_________________

Jesus spent a ton of his time with the poor and marginalized. those seemed to be the ones who were softest to the gospel...the samaritan woman, the bleeding woman, the cripple lowered down through the roof, the lame sitting by the pool...all of them outcasts.

all of them receptive.

Jesus also spent a lot of time with the rich and the religious, but what was their response?

the rich man walked away.

the religious put him on trial.

it seems that the marginalized are the ones who are receptive...

__________________

the english camps we do are a little costy for czechs.

typically the educated are the ones who attend english camp.

so, if the poor and the marginalized are the ones who tend to be the most receptive, but our camps tend to attract the richer and more educated and they seem to be the least receptive and i feel called to what i'm doing...

see my dilemma?

___________________

a few months ago i wrote about this house that i wanted to buy.

it is huge.

right on the town square.

super expensive.

while i don't have a solution to my current dilemma, i do think that it has to start with me personally. i'm not going to leave czech and move in with the poor. i'm probably not even going to change the way we do english camps. but i have found myself talking to and trying to meet the needs of the marginalized more. i've also been thinking more about buying an apartment in one of the poorer areas of our town and living there. i've also thought about trying to start a small youth group in that area.

____________________

i don't know what all this means. i fight the idea of moving to a poorer area. i come up with lots of excuses why i shouldn't talk to the homeless guy.

but after "living it" for 30 minutes, i feel like i understand a bit more. two dudes did it for five months. i'm reading their journey right now.

regardless of what i do, i have to do.

i can't let compassion sit idly in my chest.

my heart stirs cause it wants to get out.

it wants to touch someone.

i have to let it.

no No Shave November

2007-11-04T19:19:00.000+01:00

unfortunately, there was only one response to the call for "no shave november" and it was from Steve who sent me an article about this guy.

thanks steve. we all lose to this guy.

i will continue with my no shave november.

pics to follow.

No Shave November Begins

2007-11-01T22:59:00.000+01:00

No Shave November: a community art project*

2007-10-22T19:38:00.000+02:00

thelongbrake has done some great community art projects over the last couple years. i have thoroughly enjoyed participating and having my eyes tickled by all the images from around the us and the world.

i have now ventured out to do my own.

with a twist.

josh's usually have some great spiritual truth about them. mine won't. well, i guess it does in that God is truth and it is true that men can grow facial hair.

_____________________

the rules

_take a picture of yourself on nov 1 freshly shaven
_email picture to me (nhughes@josiahventure.com)
_don't shave during november
_take a picture dec 1
_email picture to me

additional rules for the ambitious

_choose facial hair type from the pic above
_attempt to immitate
_email pic to me

please feel free to link this, invite friends, or whatever to make this the greatest facial hair display the world (or at least the internet) has ever seen.

adventures in mexico

2007-10-09T21:36:00.001+02:00

there were three very unique experiences that i had on my recent trip to mexico with somanorth here in arizona.

1_while driving through the arizona desert on our way down to mexico we saw ufos. now i'm not saying that they were alien ufos, but they were most definately unidentified flying objects...lights in the sky. i'm not an expert on military aircraft and i really don't know jack about aeronautics, but my friend Christian, the driver of our crew, has a degree in aeronautical engineering and he'd never seen anything like it before. there were two separate types of ufo.

the first was a bright light that would pulse as it fell to earth with each subsequent flare appearing more downward and more to the left. now, it could easily have been something just falling, but the odd thing is that at the end of each of these we saw (there were four or five total) it would arch upwards and then not appear again apparently never falling completely to the ground.

the second were four lights that were in the sky the entire time the other things were falling, but remained completely still during the entire show. in fact, we thought they were lights atop towers on a mountain, but suddenly, these once stationary lights begun to decend upon the earth. Christian exclaimed that they could not be helicopters, because helicopters couldn't decend so quickly. he was at a loss for what they could be.

2_i almost got shot in the head by an ak-47 on thursday night.

my primary role in riding shotgun was to get us to our final destination. my tools: map and a mag light. after entering mexico (around midnight) our senses were hightened to the federali (the mexican police). Christian had worried for hours (literaly) about what a mexican jail would be like, could we run from the federali, would we bail him out if he were arrested, and countless other annoying questions. the federali are notorious for their corruption and senseless arrests. we were even told to have $40 ready in case we got pulled over.

sure enough, as we pulling into puerto penasco (our final destination) the federali pulled up next to us. the mexican driving glaced over at me. i glanced back. he did a double take and slowed his car down. as we pulled away from him, he slid into our lane. Christian begins to get worried...we all do in fact. then, sure enough, the lights come on. we had been driving the speed limit and didn't appear to be doing anything illegal, so we were confounded. after pulling into a dirt lot on the side of the road, the driver came up to the driver side and in spanish (via Jenni's translation) asked us to turn the dome light on. we did. he then asked us to raise our hands, so he could see them. we did. all the while he is looking at me, not Christian. then, upon seeing the mag light on my lap, says, "Oh, lampa." smiles, says "bye" and walks away.

as the beat of our hearts begin to slow everything became clear. when the federali pulled along side of us, i had been holding the mag light in my right hand. apparently, he saw the shine of metal and thought it was a gun! the girls also spoke up at that time and asked if we saw the other guy standing outside of my window. because i'd been focusing on the guy at Christian's window, i didn't. the girls then relayed that he was holding an ak-47! i was one flash of the mag light away from being capped in the dome

3_the bed i slept in was the top bunk of a bunkbed. it was rather comfortable and nice. the odd thing was that it was extremely high. in fact, i could barely sit up straight while up there. the other interesting aspect was that there was a fan that hung over the legs-half of the bed. while not close to my head, it could be if i wasn't paying attention.

on the final night i came into our room at 3 am after watching a movie in another room. the lights were off in the entire condo, so it was pitch black. the white noise of the fan filled the room as i climbed up in bed. forgetting about the fan, i leaned forward in an effort to slide my body into bed.

THWAP, THWAP, THWAP

as far as i can tell i took three fan blades to the head. two to the forehead and one to the bridge of the nose. i was inches from losing an eye. feeling marginal amounts of blood and only feeling slightly dazed, I laid down and wondered as i fell asleep whether i had a concussion. knowing the dangers of sleeping after a concussion, i fell asleep wondering if i would wake up the next morning.

i did.

_____________________________________

here are pictures from other, less exciting times while in mexico:

America vs. Czech

2007-10-01T20:15:00.000+02:00

I've been in the States for one week.

Here are the most significant things I've noticed/discovered being back:

_right turns on red are great...if you don't do it people will honk
_laundry is much quicker with a dryer!
_sports are much more fun to watch on TV rather than tracking the scores on the internet
_do not, i repeat, do not remove anything from the scales when going through the self checkout at the grocery store
_do not, i repeat, do not use the self check out by yourself if you've never done it before...thanks Jenni and Christian!
_fruits and vegitables are huge, perfect, and shiny here...i never noticed the difference when i moved to czech...i think its because i never bought fruit and vegitables before i moved there
_i will come back to czech 10-15 pounds heavier
_bowling is much easier for me in America...good lanes and pins without strings led to two games over 200...in czech i never crack 100
_driving an automatic transmission is odd...what should I do with my left foot?

When I am in czech I eat two types of food...czech or italian. Here is what I've eaten since I've been here:

_Cajun
_Chinese
_Mexican
_American
_Seafood
_Pizza
_Italian
_Breakfast Restaurant...nothing like it in Cesky Tesin
_BBQ

I'm sure this is just the beginning of what I'll notice while I'm here...

RIP: Dreads

2007-09-01T17:40:00.000+02:00

Yep, its true, the dreads are gone. After nine months of very little showering and caring way too much about how my hair looked, I decided to send them to the afterlife.

Upon closer inspection, I found zero...that's right, zero, bugs in any of them. I did find a ton of sand and a pencil that I thought I lost in February, but no bugs.

Here is a pictoral tribute to some of the more interesting dreads:

The Seahorse Dread:

The Marriage Dread (where two become one):

The Baby Dread (the smallest of this dysfunctional dread family):

The Perfect Dread (this was the closest one to good):

The ? Dread (seriously, is that dread wearing a tutu? I have no idea what happened to this one):

That was the first time scissors touched my head in over two years. In all honesty, my head is cold. But showers are nicer. You win some, you lose some.

days 7 and 8/9: three sunrises, two surfers and five kings

2007-08-21T19:43:00.000+02:00

day seven we got up early and watched the sunrise...three times! due to poor timing on our part, the first was as we drove to the beach. fortunately for us, the beach we went to had a huge cliff between it and the sun, so we got to watch the sun rise a second time. finally, since our campsite was located in a huge revine, by the time we got back to our camp the sun was rising there too! oh, lucky us.

we also went to the beach again and jozka and i surfed...

days eightandnine blend together really.

we left sw portugal at 530 am to drive to barcelona. we made it to barcelona at 8 pm, ate dinner and walked around the city.

barcelona has a lot of street artists

then left at midnight to make the 16 hour drive home.

needless to say, when we ate burger king at 3 in the afternoon on day nine we were a little kookoo...

we wore those crowns for the next five hours...literally.

days 5 & 6: tents, naked gymnastics, and psalm 19

2007-08-18T18:19:00.000+02:00

this is the difference between morning four and morning five:

we were super excited when we got to the beach:

the beach also had quite a few naked people on it. now, i'm not just saying topless women (a standard at european beaches), i'm talking full on. there weren't a lot and fortunately they were on the other side of the beach, but at one time while jozka and i were surfing i saw a couple of guys doing round-off back handsprings and handstands! i'm including a picture of jozka and i instead to spare you. no one should have to see that:

this is the view i had from where i sat:

we went to a lighthouse last night to watch the sunset on the atlantic. it was the first time i'd seen the sun set on the atlantic...it actually doesn't set. the earth rotates giving it the appearance that it does set. so it was the first time i saw the earth rotate so that the sun appeared to go behind the atlantic:

bye bye sun:

days 3 & 4: lisbon, a banana, and ninjas

2007-08-17T22:31:00.000+02:00

day three found us reaching our goal of making it to portugal:

lisbon was beautiful and em's parents hooked us up with a night at the (five star) Sheraton in Lisbon! We were going to fit all five of us in a room, but our consciences caught up with us and we decided not to break the rules (three to a room) and we bought another room...that, coupled with Em's speeding ticket, put us way over budget...

not to be discouraged, we set out for lisbon only to be distracted by rain and a banana:

after helping the banana cross the street we wandered the streets of lisbon and practiced our ninja techniques in case of attack:

more on days four and five tomorrow...

Days 1 & 2: Thunderstorms and Speeding Tickets

2007-08-14T10:02:00.000+02:00

Kilometers driven: 2360
To go: 629
Cities: Barcelona (kinda) and Madrid

We camped outside of Barcelona.
It stormed.
We didn't get wet.
Thank you, good tents.
I realized that the level of enjoyment of a thunderstorm is directly related to what your sleeping situation is within the thunderstorm and how tired you are.
Tent and tiredness=low level of enjoyment.

This was the only part of France we liked.
It was too expensive.
Too far to drive through to get to Spain.
And we lost 90 Euros to the Frenchy (as Em likes to call them) Police...she was driving to fast. They didn't like it.

once we got to Spain we ate our faces off.
perviously we had only eaten bread and water.
not really, but close.

Our awesome host, Dawn, competes with Emily for the affections of Juan the Bronze man.
Dawn is a missionary in Madrid.
She is sold out for the Lord.
She invited us into her home without knowing us.
We even ate her food.
Used her shower.
I stole lots of electricity charging my
phone
ipod
computer
camera battery
palm pilot

Madrid has cool grafiti.

I'm going to drink Starbucks now...then its off to Lisbon.

blurry road ahead

2007-08-11T23:48:00.001+02:00

i picked up our ride (opel zafira) earlier this evening

it is packed

in approximately six hours we will be on the road to ________

we really have very little planned other than

_seeing the southwestern most tip of europe
_eating seafood
_drinking great wine
_reading books

_surfing
_eating seafood
_drinking sangria
_reading books
_surfing

stay tuned (can you really tune in to a website?) for pics, stories, and an overall good time...

the players: an introduction

2007-08-10T12:04:00.000+02:00

name: jozef
alias: jozka (pronounciation = yohsh-ka)
skills: flaminco dancing, growing handlebar mustache
role: cook

name: lucka (pronunciation = loots-ka)
alias: barbie
skills: horticulture, tractor driving
role: getting discounts from the locals

name: erin
alias: er bear
skills: popping collars, giving massages
role: nurse

name: emily
alias: pemily
skills: glamour shots, hair sculpting
role: making sure we look good

name: nate
alias: nate dogg
skills: directional orientation, blogging
role: photographer

to the left, then back to the right (a shorter, more intense trip than the longbrake)

2007-08-08T08:46:00.001+02:00

my buddy josh is driving from from Ft. Wayne, IN to Seattle, WA.

he is doing it in 25 days.

he will see many states.

he will meet many people.

_________________________

i was supposed to go to greece on sunday.

it was going to cost 600 dollars for eight nights, seven days including airfare, breakfast, and dinner. good price.

but then, three of my friends cancelled.

two were guys.

i decided that i didn't want to go with three girls.

i've spent all summer with two girls.

i like girls, but i also like guys. so we changed our plans.

in order to get my friend jozka to come, we decided to drive to portugal and sleep in tents and buy food from grocery stores.

it will be less expensive.

we are doing it all in nine days.

tentative (and subject to probable change as the wind guides us):

[all dates are august]
twelve_drive prague to barcelona
thirteen_beach in barcelona
fourteen_drive barcelona to madrid (stay with missionary friends...hopefully)
fifteen_drive madrid to sagres (the southwestern most tip of portugal)
sixteen_read in sagres
seventeen_surf in sagres
eighteen_drive to lisbon
nineteen_drive to paris...yeah, the one in france
twenty_drive home

i know there are some people scattered over europe who read my blog. if you live in one of the afore mentioned countries and wish to allow 5 people to sleep for free, please email me at: nhughes@josiahventure.com.

124,274.24!

2007-08-07T21:48:00.000+02:00

My sweet Ford Mondeo passed the 124,274.24 mile mark! That may not sound that exciting, but for those of us in Europe that is 200,000 kilometers! Yipee!

Here are some important facts relating to my ownership of the car:

_ 8: countries visited (czech, germany, austria, poland, slovakia, slovenia, croatia, italy)
_ 218: my top speed in km/hr (135 mph). location: italy
_ 41: camps visited
_ +3: new countries my car will be in over the next two weeks (france, spain, portugal)
_ 13: most amount of people in the car at one time

_ 1: blow-outs
_ 0: bible smuggling trips (it isn't illegal to have bibles in eastern europe, silly)

here's to another 124,274.24 miles!

360 days and counting...

2007-07-21T11:06:00.000+02:00

I celebrated my 29th birthday on Monday in a typical Czech fashion...with two Czech guys on their hands and knees facing away from one another, me being held by my hands a feet being swung between the two of them with my hips crashing into their butts 29 times...I'm too old for that...

**********

This is my last year to be cool. It's a shame, but this is it...360 days left. Not that I can't be cool once I'm 30 but it will be a different kind of cool. It will be a conditional cool.

(this make-believe conversation has been translated for your reading enjoyment)

czech high school boy: Hey, who is that dude over there?
czech high school girl: Oh, that's the dude who organized this english camp.
boy: He looks cool.
girl: Yeah, he is.
boy (yelling to me): Hey! Come here.
Nate: Yo! What's up?
boy: How long have you had your dreads?
Nate: About a year and a half.
girl: They are really cool.
Nate: Thanks. (to the boy) What's your name?
boy: Honza. What's your name?
Nate: Nate. Nice to meet you.
boy: You too. Your Czech is really good! How long have you lived in Czech?
Nate: A little over three years.
girl: Really? Three years? How old are you?
Nate: How old do you think I am?
boy: Uh, 26.
girl: Maybe 24.
Nate: (laughing) Nope. 30!
boy and girl: Really! You are really cool for 30.

And there we have it. The conditional statement that I will live with forever starting in 360 days.

"You are really cool...for 30"

I will no longer only be cool. I will forever be conditionalized (is that really a word?!) as "for 30...31...32...33..."

So, here's to being just plain cool for the next year!

můj sen (my dream)

2007-06-23T20:53:00.000+02:00

one night in the early fall of 05, while still in the process of looking for an apartment, my (future) roommate and I had a conversation on the terrace of a local pizza place. the conversation was short and was basically me looking at this rad building across the street from where we were dining and commenting, "what if we lived up there?"

we dont live there now.

>> two years

since i've decided to stay in czech long term i have started looking into buying an apartment here. my initial idea was to buy the apartment that i currently live in (i hate moving), but i've been scanning reality boards to see if anything else was available. last week while i was scanning an aforementioned board i spotted this place:

intimidated by the size and not really needing a place for 20, my eyes didn't linger long. since i didn't see anything that peeked my interest, i went back to the above pictures wondering where it was. the board said:

location: cesky tesin square

i live near the square and not initially recognizing it, i looked at it more closely.

!!oh, dang, that is the house across from the pizza place. i walk by that every day. i can't believe i didn't recognize it!!

<< one year

my friend romana and i started dreaming of what it would be like to open a kavarna/cajovna (coffee/tea house) in cesky tesin. it would be a place where ministry could be done and a great way to meet people in town. we had tons of ideas, but not really a way to have them realized. she got married and moved to prague.

>> one year

so as i looked at the pictures of this house all these ideas (and more) flooded my mind.

_the basement is currently a grocery store, so it is already zoned commercial, so that could be the coffee/tea house

_the first floor could be split in two. one half would be where romana and michal (her husband) could live and the other half could be the english camp offices
_the second floor could be housing for future english camp missionaries

_the third floor is where i could live...fulfilling my dream from two years ago

>> one days

my mind continued racing about the possibilities of owning this building...how much would it cost (no price had been listed)? what would i need to charge to pay a mortgage? etc.

so, lucka called the reality agency...the realator is on vacation and will be back on the 25th...and the price tag is 12m Kc (approximately $600,000)...dang, that could be too expensive...but i kept dreaming...and started praying

>> two days

so after church last sunday we took a closer look at the property and more ideas came...

_there are three garages, i could keep one for a car/storage and knock the wall down between the other two and make a youth room out of it...the address of the garages is 1971...so everything in the youth room would be vintage 70s...

_there is a chata (little house) located on the property too...sauna, hot tub, ???

>> now

as i sit here i'm two days away from having our first set of six us youth groups fly into prague. i'm also two days away from the realator being back in town. we're going to call her on monday and see what the deal is. we've heard that it has been on the market for six-eight months, so i'm hoping that may give us a shot at getting the price lowered.

what i'm praying for right now is {if God wills} to find someone who would want to make a {financial and spiritual} investment into this house. maybe God would redirect this vision, but for now I don't see the possibility that i'd be able to get the financing for it on my own...at this rate i probably won't make $600,000 total in the 40 years!

so that's můj sen

silver box of encouragement

2007-06-20T20:26:00.000+02:00

every once in a while i get a care package sent to me here in czech. regardless of its contents i am also super encouraged by the thoughtfulness of such box.

but, just last week i received arguably the best care package in the history of care packages.

there were many things in it but two items stuck out above the rest:

sweet tee

silver box of encouragement

so, this little box is one of the best gifts that i've ever received...my friend cams (she has a human being growing in her stomach right now) contacted my friends and asked them to tell her things that they love about me. she then printed, lamenated, and cut all of these little nuggets and put them in this silver box of encouragement. so that "in discouraging times, homesick times or even happy times, you can read through our favorite things about you and be encouraged! We love and miss you - The Gang"

you guys rock!

i love technology, but not as much as you, you see...

2007-06-16T15:06:00.000+02:00

As a human race we have come up with some unbelievable technology and done incredible things:

...we've sent people into outer space

...we've created atomic bombs

...we've developed a system of linking the world together through the internet

...yet, we can't figure out how to develope a deodorant stick that will enable the full usage of all deodorant without the solid falling from its dial!

art...its whats for dinner

2007-06-13T17:27:00.000+02:00

two of my favorite artists:

phil:

aubrey:

13 reasons why i haven't blogged lately

2007-06-12T21:03:00.000+02:00

1_my new toy

2_

3_

4_

5_

6_

7_

8_

9_

10_

11_

12_

13_

let's go swing

2007-05-27T21:23:00.000+02:00

My roommate, Greg, went for a bike ride this morning and while out took these pictures.

As he showed them to me this evening my heart was filled with...something...I still can't place the emotion. Maybe it was a combination of emotions...

joy
freedom
longing

I wasn't even there, but I can hear them laughing. I can hear their foreign tongue spitting out insults that I haven't learned yet. I can hear them pretending to be somewhere/somebody/sometime that they are not. I can hear youth.

It's been really hot here. Summer is [here] coming. The 3 months that I work 9 months for is on the horizon...literally. When the sun rises tomorrow I'll be off to Prague to get ready for our interns who arrive on Tuesday. The time for work is here.

It's a strange feeling...this growing up.

The coming heat used to signal freedom. It used to be a signal that lakes and waterskiing and bridge-jumping and wiffle ball and bike rides and roller coasters and (your favorite summer memory here) were coming. But now, it signals the busiest time of the year. It is still the most exciting time of the year for me. But its different. There is responsibilty and caring for others and deadlines and problems (oh the problems) and (your growing pain here).

That's the weird thing about growing up. When we're young we are always dreaming about what we want to be when we're older and how much better it'll be when I'm 16, 18, 21, [enter your desired age here]. And now we are older and we are dreaming of how we wish we could go back to those ages when our dreams were still attainable, we had no responsiblitiy, and now we're looking kcab <-- to 16, 18, 21 [enter any year lower than your current age here].

I want to be content with the age I. But not just that. I don't want to stay there...in contentment...I want to be content with the age that I am

AND

LIVE IN THE
joy
anticipation
freedom
dreams
adventure
THAT BOYS LIVE IN

I want to stop and swing.

wandering

2007-05-24T12:14:00.000+02:00

a long time ago

in a state far, far away

bobby b gave me a book that i put on my shelf

then that book was put in a box and taken to czech

then it sat on my shelf again

finally i read it

wow.

________________

the book is called A Walk Across America by Peter Jenkins.

it was inspiring. touching. challenging. revealing.

inspiring - to travel more
touching - by the relationship between a man and his dog (really impressive, since i don't like animals that much)
challenging - to spend more time with people, not to speed through life
revealing - the good and bad sides of america

as i read page 14 and peter described the state of the us at the time (early 70s), i thought: this isn't much differnt than the state of the us right now

_every time i watched tv or read a newspaper (or internet), it seemed like the end of the world
_we Americans were blowing up anything and everyone for no clear reason in Vietnam (Iraq)
_southern rednecks were in a quiet war to wipe blacks off the face of the earth (i read this during the Don Imus flap)
_what upset me most of all were the booming industrial powers that were destroying our only environment (see inconvenient truth)
_there seemed to be no hope or no help for the united states of america, once the greatest country in the world and my homeland

not much has changed in 35 years.

_________________

i was also inspired by what peter termed "mileage craziness". this the state we get in when the destination becomes more important than the journey there. in his words, "obsessively placing more importance on how many miles are traveled than on the real reason for traveling...my main purpose was to be where i was. most important, i wanted to find the real people out there, what they were made of, experience who they were, how they lived, and how they worked for a living."

i'd love to say that i don't suffer from "milegage craziness", but i do. big time. in almost all i do, getting it done is more important than the process...even now...i just want to finish this blog post...i don't want to slow down and enjoy the process of writing [creating].

i do it with traveling too...get there...wherever there is...as quick as possible...don't stop...don't take pictures...don't leave the main path...don't adventure...just get there

since reading this book i've made a couple of commitments to myself:

_ pick up hitchhikers
_ stop more for pictures

hitchhikers because they are stories (hopefully i'll be able to understand them!)
pictures because they tell stories
both because they will slow me down

________________

a couple of weeks ago my friend aubrey was here. one of the things that was great is that while travelling to prague we

took our time

before we walked around the town we played with a little kid

and while we traveled around prague we

went

where
we

wanted
_art galleries
_cafes
_we took pictures

i think i'm learning to slow down...

a great week

2007-05-09T22:41:00.000+02:00

i just spent the last week with some of the most amazing people on the planet.

here is a pictoral highlight:

_BLONG-O-BALL (shirt on?shirt off?)

_swing dancing with the jv kids

_sit here

_owen

_aubs

_bloggin friends (464 to 7 to 51)

_dynamic community (amplitheatre...ample-theatre...apple-theatre?)

_amazing worship

_transformational teaching

yams

2007-05-06T13:20:00.000+02:00

i spoke in church on sunday

2007-04-17T20:01:00.000+02:00

you may not think that speaking in church is a big deal, especially for me, since i talk all the time, but it is a big deal when it is in czech!

last monday, during my prayer and fasting day concerning my future (see previous post), one of the things i felt like God was calling me to was getting more involved in my local church.

every week at church the mic is open for the congregation to share whatever God is doing in their lives...often times they turn into preachamonies*.

well, this past sunday, as i sat in the pew worshipping, i felt compelled to share my decision to stay with the church...the only problem is that i also felt compelled to share it in czech.

[let's take a brief moment to talk about the czech language barriar. i can hear many of you saying to yourselves, "Come on, Nate, you've lived in Czech for almost two years, you should totally be fluent by now." well, czech is freakin' hard, so back off!! seriously, czech is hard. people who have lived here for twelve-years are still studying! yeah, its that hard.]

so anyways, i was super nervous to share in czech, but i knew i had to.

the worship band is made up of some students from the youth ministry and is lead by a friend of mine, so all of them know me...they also know my czech skill. so, when i stood up and began walking up to the pulpit, i could read the looks on their faces:

"oh, my gosh! what is he thinking?"
"he isn't going to ask me to translate is he?"
"is nate getting up to use the bathroom?"

when i got to the podium and began speaking the looks of the people in the congregation were classic. they looked like they were watching the children's program on Easter. They had that leaned forward/what cute thing is he going to say/awwwww, isn't he cute look on their faces.

i then stummbled through a testimony (i'm sure it wasn't long enough to be a preachamoney) in my broken czech. making statements that probably sounded like this:

"i live here two years"
"God lead me here"
"i decide stay"
"hard it is because the family and lots friends live there"

i finished.

they clapped. i'm pretty sure it was because i spoke in czech, not because i'm staying.

so, that was it. i spoke in church on sunday.

*def: a testimony which is longer (sometimes much longer) than it should be. it often includes a passage of scripture, a three-point outline, and multiple illustrations. it never extends long enough to ever be called a sermon.

the atlantic was born today and i'll tell you how

2007-04-12T21:29:00.000+02:00

for nearly two years i've lived in the czech. my official two-year term is nearing an end.

inevitably, i am asked the question by family and friends (on both sides of water), "so, are you staying here [coming back]"?

i've put the answer off for a long time.

partly to pray about it, but mostly because i was scared.

scared to commit [go back].
scared to hurt my family [disappoint people here].
scared of drudging through the cultural challenges [readjusting back to us culture].
scared of the ???????????.

but, finally, i've made my decision.

__________

it started in autumn. things had been tough. there were cultural struggles, ministry challenges, the language barrier, loneliness, etc. i was praying one morning about what GOD wanted me to do and the SPIRIT clearly spoke,

"I don't want you to leave czech until I call you somewhere else."

i didn't like that answer. life was hard. it would be easier/better/more fun/insert good feeling here ________ if i went back to the states. i begrudgingly accepted this from GOD, but hoped HE would change HIS mind.

ff >>

it was a sunny january day in az and bobby b and i were kicking it for our regular half-day comic book run/fashion square/good food/hang out and somewhere between spider-man and baseball the conversation turned to ministry. bobby was sharing some thoughts on some recent changes he'd made in ministry location and said, "one thing that has always stuck out to me was something Oswald Chambers wrote. he said,

'never leave the place GOD called you last until HE calls you to somewhere else.'"

GOD didn't change HIS mind. this was confirmation.

i still waited to make my decision though.

ff>>

monday.

czechs celebrate easter monday. it is really a bizarre celebration with some interesting traditions. but, regardless, it is a day off.

i spent my day with the LORD.

i decided that monday was my decision day. i took the day, went to a lake (which was really a resevoir for drinking water with no way to get down to the lake to enjoy nature--i was not happy) spent an hour there, then went and hung out in a cafe for four hours.

i read.

i prayed.

i asked GOD for guidance/direction/what HE wanted from me for the next five years.

HE answered.

it was powerful.

i expected HIM to show me some great vision for the future--some beautifully laid out ministry plan.

what i got was a load of specific verses of !who! GOD was calling me to !be!

maybe some day i'll share those, but i've delayed telling my decision for

l
o
n
g

e
n
o
u
g
h

GOD is calling me to stay.

even as i write this i think of the countless friends and family back in the states that i miss and the sound of disappointment that i've heard in my family's voices this week as i've told them of my decision.

it grieves my heart.

but,

i know that GOD is in this.

i know that HE is providing new friends and family for me here. never to replace those in the states, but to fill up what i am missing.

i know that HE is preparing works for me to do that are specificly tailored to my giftedness and passion.

i know that HE is changing me in ways that I could never be changed back in the states.

i know that HE is calling me to this.

i can step into that with confidence.

suffering servant

2007-04-06T11:33:00.000+02:00

(picture stolen from aubrey's blog)

i don't often write about the bible and theology. its just not my style. i'd rather tell humorous stories or use life to illustrate biblical principles.

but today is different.

today we celebrate (?) the death of a man (God).

i have a reading and reflection schedule for passion week that i've been doing for a few years now.

it starts on palm sunday by reading the gospel accounts of "the triumphal entry".

it continues monday through friday with reading the rest of the gospel accounts of the passion week.

friday afternoon (before good friday service) i watch Mel Gibson's Passion.

it concludes with easter sunday.

but

this year was different. easter snuck up on me. i really haven't reflected on it much at all.

until this morning.

i read through john's version of jesus' final day (it was totally ritual...no feeling to it).

so, i read isiah 52:13-53:12

i was moved. here are _my thoughts

[53:3]
jesus was a man of sorrow and acquainted with grief
[53:4]
he bears our grief and carries our sorrows

_he is able to bear our grief and sorrows, because he first suffered. he experienced it.

he hurt.
he felt rejection.
he was lonely.
he longed for justice.
he pined for love.

so do i.

he bears that for me!

[53:4-5]
he bears !our! griefs
he carries !our! sorrows
he was wounded for !our! transgressions
he was crushed for !our! iniquities

his chastisement brought !us! peace
his stripes healed !us!

_for __________ (insert your name here)

jesus took !our!

grief
sorrow
transgressions
iniquities

and gave !us!

peace
healing

[53:6]
{the Lord} has laid on him our iniquities
[53:10-11]
it was the {will of the Lord} to crush him
{he} has put him to grief
the {will of the Lord} shall prosper

_it was God's will to do this for us

[53:11-12]
he makes !us! righteous
he bears !our! iniquities
he bears !our! sins
he makes intercession for !us!

_he takes our sin and make us righteous

schedules and rituals can be good. i love reflection on that final week of jesus' life.

but sometimes our schedules can dull our hearts.

the spirit rocked my heart today with something new.

i'm still going to watch passion this afternoon, but now i feel i'll be able to do it in a spirit of worship and true reflection.

Boy, why are you crying?

2007-03-28T14:55:00.000+02:00

I've always loved the story of Peter Pan and its various derivations (Hook and Finding Neverland being two of my favorites). Something about a boy who doesn't grow up has always appealed to me. I'm not sure why...

Of all the different variations of Peter Pan that I've seen, I'd actually never read the novel by J.M. Barrie. While hanging out with Red this past weekend she said that I needed to read it and that it'd "change my life".

Already a magical tale, it became more alive as I read the original. Peter was cockier, Tink was feistier, Hook was meaner (but still concerned with "good form"), Wendy more motherlier, the entire story darker and more imaginitive than I could've expected.

While the story didn't change my life it nicely supplimented some thoughts I'd already been having about growing up...

_____

The last two weeks I've been hanging out with a group of college students from Moody Bible Institute. I've always identified myself with high school and college aged students. Even though I'm...uh hum...twenty-eight (letters are easier to look at than numbers), I feel closer to the them than to "adults". I'm sure that is part of the reason that I am in youth ministry.

As I hung out with this group of (primarily) 19-22 year olds, for the first time in my life I realized the real gap between

me

them

I didn't like this realization.

I am like Peter Pan.

"I don't want ever to be a man," he said with passion. "I want always to be a little boy and to have fun." (pg. 28)
"Keep back, lady, no one is going to catch me and make me a man." (pg. 174)

I'm pretty sure I've made those exact same statements before. The former to my mom and the latter to a couple girls I've dated.

During a discussion group at an English Camp with the Moody students the question was asked, "Who has the greatest influence on your life?" As we went around and shared I began to wonder: Am I the type of man that is influencing others? Am I a man who is helping to steer young men and women towards Christ? Sometimes I fear that I only care about having fun. I know that I am a fun-maker. I love having fun. But isn't there more to life than just having fun? Too often I choose fun over discipline and find myslef having lots of friend, but maybe little impact...

I don't want to give up having fun, but I also don't want that to be the only characteristic that defines me. I want to be a man who has profound impact on individuals.

_____

There are numerous other things though, that I continue to love about Peter Pan and this story. What inspired me so much about Finding Neverland was Barrie's recalcitrance towards those who are trying to crush the imaginative nature of children. There is something magical about the way children think outside the box. They haven't been indoctrinated by society of the "oughts" and "ought nots" of life. They can make a common stick a sword and a t-shirt a dress. There are no boundries to the imagination of a child.

Yet, there comes a time when we grow out of it. For those who do it sooner than others, we ridicule and mock the younger ones around us who dwell in the land of pirates, dinosaurs, and elegant balls. And as adults we feel like we need to correct the children and help them to see life "as it is".

My favorite passage of the book speaks to this:

"Mrs. Darling first heard of Peter when she was tidying up her children's minds. It is a nightly custom of every good mother after her children are asleep to rummage in their minds and put things straight for the next morning, repacking into their proper places the many articles that have wandered during the day. If you could keep awake (but of course you can't) you would see own mother doing this, and you would find it very interesting to watch her. It is quite like tidying up drawers. You would see her on her knees, I expect, lingering humorously over some of your contents, wondering where on earth you had picked this thing up, making discoveries sweet and not so sweet, pressing this to her cheek as if it were as nice as a kitten, and hurriedly stowing that out of sight. When you wake in the morning, the naughtiness and evil passions with which you went to bed have been folded up small and placed at the bottom of your mind; and on the top, beautifully aired, are spread out your prettier thoughts, ready for you to put on."

I want to keep writing. I want you to experience the mind of Barrie as he unlocks a childs mind for us again, but I can't write the whole book out because, well, (a) it'd take to long, and (b) there may be copywrite infringements, so I'll just have to urge you to read it yourself.

As for me, I find myself trapped somewhere between Neverland and Adulthood. Longing to hold tight the tension between the innocent freedom of dreaming and playing and the responsibility to be a man who impacts others and lives in maturity.

the dream is over

2007-03-21T01:04:00.000+01:00

i love facial hair.

when i lived in arizona i was always opressed by "the man"...the man being some job that i worked at that regulated what i could grow. the best i could do was sideburns and even those were regulated...they couldn't be too long or too bushy.

well all that has changed on the mission field.

i have been able to experiment and change it up quite often. my little heart has been filled with joy.

one of those heart warming adventures has been my six month old beard.

i've grown quite fond of the "little" guy, but i knew his time was drawing to an end. summer is coming and summer is no place for a beard of this magnitude although two of my friends disagree.

so, tonight the dream ended. i'll be honest in saying that i was more sad than i thought that i'd be. so distraught was i, that i had to take a moment alone with my beard in the bathroom to say some final words to one another. i did most of the talking.

the culprit:

the process:

the outcome:

i'm pretty sure the 'stache is only for 24 hours...

mixtape

2007-03-07T23:10:00.000+01:00

anyone who knows me, knows that i LOVE music. i wish that i could have a soundtrack made of my life. in fact, if we are ever sharing the same network and you have access to my itunes you can see the soundtracks i've created for different periods of my life. i'd love for music to play in the background of different fun/crucial/romantic/intense/powerful moments of my life...i think it would add a little something

as far as i know that won't be happening anytime soon, so in the mean time i found this cool idea on josh's blog.

so here is what you do:

1. scan through your itunes or cd library. refamiliarize yourself with the nooks and crannies of your musical options.
2. identify five categories — genres, if you will — of music. these should be as obscure and finely-articulated as you’d like. feel free to use modifiers liberally.
3. nominate — select, really — a “perfect song” for each category. include a link for each song to something (the amazon page for the CD, or the artist’s website, or whatever). you may find it easier, as i did, to find “perfect songs”, and craft categories or genres around them.
4. ideally, some of the songs will be nominally obscure, or, at least, not completely mainstream and overplayed. no need to tell us all about songs we all know!

So…let’s get on with it. I give you the perfect song for…

"the walk to your girlfriends house after realizing that you made a mistake and have to go and apologize to her" I Go To The Barn Because I Like The by Band of Horses

"drinking yourself silly (no i don't believe in drunkeness, but I can imagine that this would be a good song for it) after your girl breaks up with you" Light Up The Room by Mumm-Ra

"strutting...preferably through a trendy european city (i.e. Prague) on a friday night in the bar district" We Used To Be Friends by The Dandy Warhols

"stalking someone" Goodnight and Go by imogen heap

"looking out of the window of a train as you ponder life, love, and the world" Orange Sky by Alexi Murdoch

while i wasn't tagged for this by anyone like in the other blogs, i'm still going to tag a couple people:

kyle
aubrey
jessica red

kyle, aubrey, jess: you're it.

this post sponsored by:

London, part three: mind the gap between America and Britain

2007-02-27T15:19:00.000+01:00

There is a woman who comes over the PA while waiting for public transportation in London. She says, "Mind the gap between the train and the platform." While there isn't a huge gap, I kinda wish I would've had that woman tell me about the gap between america and the uk before I went.

Here is a pictoral representation of some things I experienced:

We have been trained to look left, THEN right when crossing the street. It is natural. It is the way the rest of the non-formarly Bristish occupied countries in the world work. The huge signs on the street helped, but it is almost impossible to not look left also. I tried. I would try only looking right when crossing a one-way street and it was like there was a gigantic magnet hovering over my left shoulder and a equally huge piece of metal attached to my forehead. My head was compelled to look left even though the traffic was only coming from the right. Every time I crossed the street and didn't look left also, I felt as if I was going to get drilled by a car.

As we travelled around London on the Tube we found that the Brits are ultra-creative in the naming of their stops. We were compelled to go to this one. I mean, come on, who doesn't long to see elephants? We sure did. And when we thought that we could throw in one free castle as well...we were sold. So we travelled all the way to the end of the Brown line to this stop.

The stop should be called "Light Balls and Fruit Stands, because this is all we found:

I love sports...I have played or watched sports my whole life and feel like I have an excellent knowledge of all that is going on out there. But the UK has some crazy sports. Cricket and Rugby being two of them. When I saw this sign I thought, "Is there cheating going on there, because if there is, I have no idea what it is. Can Red Guy not put the ball on the ground? Can Blue Guy not grab his mate's (yeah, British English) shorts. I know grabbing your friends shorts is inappropriate, but is it cheating? Really, who is cheating here? I have no idea!

Finally, the bathrooms. Come on...girl in a dress, boy in pants...it should be easy...oh, wait, I make that mistake here...uh...never mind.

London, part two: indie rock concert

2007-02-25T17:49:00.000+01:00

the girls and i went to an indie rock concert on friday night.

it was awesome.

basically, before we left, i looked on the web for the best venues in london, then i searched their websites for the concerts for friday night.

i found this concert. NME is some british rock magazine and every year they host an indie concert for up and coming bands. previous bands include coldplay and kaiser chiefs...i figured we couldn't lose and i was right.

these for bands played:

the automatic
the view
the horrors
mumm ra (kudos to mumm ra for not falling prey to the Definite Article Craze sweeping Great Britain)

the venue was awesome!

Here are some pics:

mumm ra (opening act and maybe my favorite of the four)

my face after the horrors played (definitely NOT my favorite band!)

my concert mates (yeah, i'm speaking british english now)

the automatic

London, part one: getting here

2007-02-24T01:25:00.000+01:00

This is the first in a three part series on my recent couple days in London.

Our trip to London was one of the longest, most challenging journeys. We arrived at Gatwick airport at about 10:30 PM on Wednesday evening...about a half hour earlier than expected. That was the only travel mercy we had.

After passing through customs successfully (not a given with the way I look in recent days), we bought our train tickets to London Bridge, where we were supposed to switch trains and head to Grove Park...from there it should be a 15 minute walk to the place we are staying...

(11:30) As we got to the platform, Leah noticed that there was a special note saying that London Bridge was closed and we were to switch at a different spot.

(12:45) We got off at that stop, rather cluelessly, and started looking around for a connecting train to Grove Park...nothing. No trains. Barely any people. So, we walk around for a bit and run into Samantha (our first "angel"). She, too, is heading to Grove Park and missed the final connecting train, because an Underground worker told her the wrong information. That same guy sees us standing with her, realizes he gave her the wrong information and orders us a cab to make up for his error.

(1:15) The cabbie takes us to London Bridge station, but all trains are finished for the night and we've just missed the bus...the next bus is coming at 1:45.

(1:45) The bus comes, we get on, with Sam (yeah, we're calling her Sam by now) and head on our way. As we go Sam tries to explain where to get off (she is getting off before us). We don't really understand her, but nod our heads anyways.

(1:56) I fall asleep.

(1:58) I wake up.

(2:15) Sam, feeling bad, calls us a cab and tells us to get off with her.

(2:25) We get off with Sam, say bye and thanks. Get into cab.

(2:29) Find out that our cabbie is not Cabbie Robinson, but Pastor Robinson (enter second "angel"). He is Kenyan.

(2:44) Robinson pulls over because he doesn't know where he's going. He pulls out a map.

(2:46) He asks Leah to find the street because his eyes aren't so good.

(2:47) Leah points and says, "It's this big yellow one."

(2:52) We find the street.

(2:54) Robinson drops us off at *26* Grove Park Rd.

(2:56) We realize that the house is really dark and there is no indication that this is the YWAM house that we are supposed to stay at.

(2:57) I look on the car in the driveway for any indication that this is a Christian house. I don't find anything. Where are the Christian fish when you need them?

(2:59) After deliberating, Leah rings the doorbell.

(3:00) No answer.

(3:04) Still no answer.

(3:05) Leah decides to call Shalina...Sarina...Sabrina...what's her name?

(3:06) Shanina answers the phone. Looks out the window. Doesn't see us. We're at the wrong house!

(3:15) We walk up and down the street, still not seeing the house or another *26*.

(3:16) Nate takes this picture.

(3:17) Leah calls Shanaynay again. She gives us better directions.

(3:30) We arrive at the YWAM house at 76, not 26, but 76 Grove Park Road. Shanina (her real name and our third "angel" whose been waiting up for us!) lets us in!

Total Travel time: 5 hours.

Total Means of Transportation: 5 (Train, Cab, Bus, Cab, Feet)

blogger stalkers

2007-02-18T23:06:00.000+01:00

i always thought having a stalker (or two) would be cool. ya know, its not really scary for a guy, like it is for a girl, so i thought, "yeah, having a stalker would be flattering."

a couple months ago i found out that i did have stalkers...blogger stalkers. i'd heard of such things before. when the longbrake and i were in krakow, poland we ran into a random dude in the square who said, "Hey, you're thelongbrake, huh? I read your blog all the time." then he asked to get a picture. a little creepy, but also flattering.

so there are these two girls who live in prague. they found my blog through a mutual friend and started the blog stalking. my friends told me about them. one time sunny posted a comment (a little bold for a stalker if you ask me). so, i started reading her blog (re-stalking if you will...and you will). then from her blog i found jessica, sunny's co-stalker.

about two months ago i got the opportunity to meet jessica. it was fun. we hung out. we talked. good times were had. but as i left i wondered, "did i live up to my blog? i mean, this girl is one of my stalkers. i have a lot to live up to. am i as funny in real life as i am in my blog? man, i hope i wasn't a disappointment." maybe that is too introspective and self-consumed, but really, this girl only knows me from my blog and she loves it...its a real possibility that i wouldn't live up to it...

so, last night i finally got to hang out with both of them in what sunny affectionately called, "The 2007 Blog Stalkers Convention". it was fun...also awkward...i know them, but do i really know them? do i shake their hands? do i give them hugs? do i say, "nice to meet you", "good to see you again", or stutter and act like an idiot?

we caught up on old times, like the time sunny found the link to my blog on laura's blog or the time jessica commented on my "white." post, or the time sunny and her friend laughed for a long time about my "haduken" post...oh the fun we had reminiscing!

but sometimes as we talked, i'd start to share a story and i'd realize, "crap, i already blogged about that! can't share that one." it was terrible! i realized that most of my good 'material' is on my blog. so, i made up some stories...

eventually the night had to end. it was sad. we did hug goodbye. we even planned to spend another night hanging out. the relationship is progressing nicely.

bride

2007-02-11T23:16:00.000+01:00

"For I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy; for I betrothed you to one husband, so that to Christ I might present you as a pure virgin." - 2 Cor 11:2 -

Being the bride of Christ has always been a tough metaphor for me to truly grasp. I mean, as a man, to be called a bride...its just always been kinda hard for me. I'm supposed to be the husband. I am supposed to be the MAN. I've never rejected being the bride, I've just always had a hard time grasping the truth of it and fully celebrating being the bride.

Maybe I'll never fully understand it, but I did get to experience a bit of it a few years ago when I was the best man in one of my best friends' wedding. It was the first time ever being best man and it was such a blessing. I'd been a groomsmen in a couple different weddings and it has its benefits*, but often times you are so far down the line that you don't get a great view of the ceremony. If the guy in front of you, lets call him Number 3, gets tired of leaning forward, he leans back, blocking your once good view and causing you to lean forward and therefore being blocked out by Number 2. Its a futile, but neccessary, battle that must be fought all ceremony.

So, in having this unobstructed view of Jeremy's wedding, I got to see something I'd never seen before. As the doors in the back of the sanctuary opened up and Karina walked down the aisle, I got the pleasure of watching Jeremy's face.

His bride. Adorned in white. Beautiful. Walking towards him. To choose him. To spend the rest of their lives together.

I don't even think I watched Karina walk down the aisle that day. I was transfixed by the look of love on Jeremy's face. And then it hit me...

That is how Christ feels towards us.

He is filled with pure joy when His bride is adorned in white. When we, the church, are holy.
He is filled with so much love that He would lay down His life for His bride.
He is filled with pleasure when His bride chooses Him and submits herself to Him.

We bring joy to Christ!

I love the imagary of being the bride. No matter how many times I dress in a gown (uh, I mean, I've only done it once...for this, uh, picture...I promise), it is still hard to imagine myself as a bride. But being able to watch Jeremy's love for Karina helped me to have a better idea of what a beautiful metaphor it is and how much more Jesus truly loves us.

In 20 days I'll be the best man in another wedding. I look forward to getting a better grasp of what it means to be the bride of Christ as I stand beside Jared and watch him as Jordan walks down the aisle.

*In being the best man (and single), you get all the face time (for all the single ladies out there), but you have all the responsibility. I thought that being best man would be the best way to meet cute girls, but in fact, it is the worst. You have to make sure the wedding is going smoothly, make sure the car is decorated, make sure the honeymoon room is taken care of, collect all the tuxes, help pack up the presents, and the countless other details of a wedding. Basically, you do all the work, so there is no time for the ladies. The groomsman is a far superior role in the girl department. You get face time, but you have no responsibility after the ceremony. The reception is free for getting your mac on...

widowmaker 07

2007-02-09T23:39:00.000+01:00

that was the unofficial name for our josiah venture men's ski retreat last week.

here are some pics:

happy birthday, kulia

2007-02-08T23:00:00.000+01:00

today my friend kulia would've been 29. i say would've been because she died of cancer in the summer of '04.

that period of my life...and my friends lives for that matter, were some of the most challenging, growing, bonding and painful times of our lives. from that anxious time of waiting to hear test results back, to the day we found out the cancer was back, to the countless days spent with her at her apartment, to moving her back to her dad's house, to the hospital visits...it was a rough time...

i thought about her a lot today...probably the most that i have in a long time...so this is my way of processing...remembering...

i'm going to tell a story.

its a story that many have heard before.

its a story i shared at her funeral.

its a story that helps me remember.

one of the blessings of working at a church is that my job is to love people. my job is to care for them when they are hurting. my job is to be with people. so, during the winter/early spring of 04 when kulia started getting sick again i would take my school books to her apartment, stop at starbucks for her favorite, chai tea latte, and we'd hang out...

she didn't like being alone...i didn't like her being alone

so one of those days as i cozied up to The Hebrew & Aramaic Lexicon of the Old Testiment and she curled up on the couch to read some Christian/Romance novel (really, i can't believe there are such things), she got a nose bleed. they always took her out of commission. she was really looking forward to reading her book and since i was NOT looking forward to mine, i agreed to read to her.

i moved over to the couch. she layed down. i covered her with a blanket, covered her nose with a towel and ice, and she rested her head on my leg.

i read.

the story was ok. seemed typical. some lonely woman who had been hurt in the past was building a relationship with some guy who had a sordid past. she wanted to be with him, but was it ok? would he hurt her again? blah, blah, blah.

i read some more.

then: the "love" scene.

now i'm not one to be uncomfortable with lovey things, but something about reading a woman's thoughts and emotions as her and some guy become intimate and share their first kiss doesn't sit well with me.

the worst part is that kulia's eyes are closed, her breathing has deepened, but i'm not quite sure if she is asleep or not.

do i stop reading?

what if she is awake? then she'd know that i felt uncomfortable reading and it would ruin the "mood" for her.

what if she is sleeping? i don't want to be reading this romance novel to myself!

so i read on.

and read.

finally, when things are starting to get too intimate and i'm certain kulia is sleeping, i close the book, gentley lay it down on the coffee table and...

her cell phone rings and wakes her up...

how long i'd read that love story with her sleeping i don't know, but i do know that we laughed about it...

i love remembering her laugh...sometimes the sound fades where i don't think i can remember it anymore...then i think back to this story...

or the time i helped jump start her car in the pouring rain and we got soaked and almost killed ourselves...

or sitting on her bed with our friends, just messing around...

its good to remember.

miss you and love you, kulia.

white.

2007-01-28T16:50:00.000+01:00

I love snow.

I love the silence of a city after a snowfall...the way the snow mutes out sound.

I love sitting in my warm apartment watching the snow fall outside.

I love how fresh snow can transform an average town into a beautiful hamlet.

I love how snow can be different. I love how sometimes you can make perfect snowballs with it and others it will barely stick. I love how sometimes you can barely see reflection off of it and how other times it looks like glitter.

I love how white snow is.

Have you noticed how perfectly white snow is? Snow is really white. When I think of perfect whiteness I think of snow...untouched snow. It is amazing.

Have you noticed how dirty snow can get...quickly?

We were created in His image, white, perfect, blameless, like freshly fallen snow. But, so quickly and so easily, we dirty that snow. We turn it brown and nasty. Unfit to be in the presence of a holy and perfect God.

*wash me, and I will be whiter than snow*

But, if we cry out to him, God cleanses us whiter (!) than snow.

Just as quickly as we dirty ourselves, God washes us and makes us whiter than snow.

And we dirty ourselves again...

and He cleanses us...

dirty.

clean.

dirty.

clean.

But at the heart of it, God desiring us to be like him...to be holy. We dirty ourselves and He cleanses us.

When King David cries out to God in Psalm 51 to "wash me, and I will be whiter than snow", David has just been confronted by Nathan about his adultery with Bathsheba. I don't think we fully comprehend what happened. We know all of the great things that David did. We know that he was called, "a man after God's own heart." We have this impression of David as this "holy man".

BUT, David committed adultery and had Bathsheba's husband killed! What if this controversy hit our church. What if your pastor did that? How would we respond? After all of this why is David still regarded so highly by us...by God?

I'm convinced that the reason God calls David a man after His own heart is because of his repentant heart.

Read Psalm 51.

Read 2 Samuel 24:10

David makes some HUGE errors. But his immediate response is to repent. He falls at the feet of God asking for forgiveness.

And God responds...

He makes him white.

new year, new look

2007-01-26T16:30:00.000+01:00

yeah, i know the first month of the year is almost over, but, well, i haven't had time to work on this. so, this is it. new look for the new year.

new links to:

bloggers
tv shows
music
preachers

enjoy.

izaiaš 41,10

2007-01-26T08:44:00.000+01:00

Neboj se, nebo já jsem s tebou; nestrachuj se, nebo já jsem Bůh tvúj.

Every New Year's Eve our church has a service to welcome in the new year. As a part of that service everyone receives a verse for the year. These verses are printed onto little bookmarks, prayed over and then, like the casting of lots, everyone draws one of these bookmarks and that is their verse for the year.

Last year I was in Prague for New Year's Eve, so I didn't get a verse. I wandered through most of 2006 purposeless...without vision...

This year I was in the States.

But, in a brilliant stroke of foresight and genius, I asked Lucka's dad to get a verse for me. One year of aimless wandering was one year too much for me.

So, Lucka brought the verse to me yesterday.

Isaiah 41:10 - Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God.

On the surface this may not be that "powerful" of a verse...or may not seem so significant, but it is for two reasons:

1. I can read it in Czech.

2. I had a post entitled "songs for when i want to throw myself from a window" about a month ago. It was in response to a really tough time I was having, specifically ministry related. During one night of sleeplessness I was reading Isaiah 40 to help ground me and remind myself who God is, but I ended up continuing through to chapter 41. There was one verse that stuck out to me. No, not verse 10, but verse 13. "For I the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you.'"

What I loved about that verse was the idea of God holding my hand. There is something intimate about holding hands. There is something comforting about holding hands. I began to think of God on an entire different plane that night.

The God of the universe holds my hand when I am hurting.

He comes along side of me in my fear.

He grabs me by the hand.

He says to me, "Fear not, I am the one who helps you."

So, I have to admit I was a little skeptical about the whole casting of lots for a verse-for-the-year thing. But as I read the verse this morning and realized that it is a couple verses away from the verse the Lord had led me too on that late night a month ago I became a believer.

fear not.

i am with you.

be not dismayed.

i am your God.

The Handshake Turnover

2007-01-12T08:50:00.000+01:00

At our thanksgiving conference this past November, Dave Patty and Mel Ellenwood were talking a lot about a body language book that they were reading. They shared all about the different things that you can learn by reading someone's body language and about all these techniques for how to interview well, how to engage with people in conversation and most importantly (for me) how to tell if a chick is digging you!

One of the things that was facinating was the art of the handshake. Apparently, we can tell a lot from the handshake.

The handshake is a way to show dominance. When a man wants to show dominance, he will turn the hand of his handshaking companion so that his hand is on top and the other man's hand is turned palm up. By turning your hand over and placing his shaking hand on top, he claims the dominate position and makes the other man the submissive one.

The author said that it is always best to try to keep the handshake vertical. He suggested that if you get turned over to "fight back" and try to get the handshake back to the verticle position therefore showing equality between the two men and not allowing one to have dominance over the other. He said that in extreme cases you may need to use your left hand to rotate the handshake into the neutral position.

Fast forward to today.

I am in San Diego hanging out with a youth pastor friend of mine and we went to his church to meet with some pastors to talk about doing ministry in Czech. Before the meeting he toured me around the youth offices. I met a few people (verticle handshakes only) and we were having good conversation. Then the Junior High pastor showed up. We were introduced and that's when it happened...

He turned me over!

(Insert Gargamel's music from the Smurf intro song here)

At first I was shocked. This dude is trying to dominate me! No way! A youth pastor? Turning me over?

The handshake was nearing its end. I felt it. We were almost finished. What should I do? Is it too late to turn it back to verticle. CRAP! I can't believe I'm getting dominated right now.

So I did what any logical man would do. I held on longer. I didn't let go...and I turned it back to verticle.

(Cheers ring out from the crowd)

I'm sure he sensed that the handshake went longer than it should have. I'm also certain that he knew that I brought the handshake back to verticle.

Regardless, I was pleased that I didn't let him dominate me and that I was able to save face by holding on and turning him back to verticle.

God hates divorce...

2007-01-11T09:05:00.000+01:00

and I know why.

Over the past couple years I've had four friends get divorced. Three in the past year.

All Christians.

The last one occurred on Monday.

It was one of the saddest moments of my life.

My friend did all that he could to save this marriage. Granted, he made some mistakes along the way (none justifying divorce) that lead to his wife asking for the divorce, but he still pursued her with abandon up until the end. He never signed any papers and it went into default.

God's timing was perfect in this as I was in Arizona over the weekend and was able to walk with my brother through this tough time and was able to be there (with some other friends) at the final hearing.

We prayed as we sat in the courtroom awaiting the case to go before the judge. But as I did, God told me to talk to the girl.

I refused.

I tried praying again. God told me to talk to the girl.

I refused.

After a third time of trying to pray, God again told me to talk to the girl. This time I thought, "What if my words could help save this marriage."

I went.

Having been in the wedding, I know this girl well, so I knelt beside her, put my arm around her and whispered,

"You know I love you, right?"

She nodded her head.

"Seriously, you know I love you."

She nodded her head again.

"You don't have to do this. It isn't too late to save your marriage. Just because you've paid for a lawyer, it isn't too late. Just because you've filled out all the paperwork, it isn't too late. Just because we are sitting in the courtroom, it isn't too late. I know that if you choose to stick with this, God will honor it. It may be difficult, but I know that God will honor your decision."

As these words poured out of my mouth, she continued nodding her head. I'm not sure if it was automated or because she was accepting these words. My guess was that in the emotion of the entire thing she didn't know what else to do.

I told her again that I love her, hugged her, and sat back down with the boys.

Their case was next and I wish the outcome was positive.

The saddest moment of the whole thing and one of the saddest moments of my life was when the judge asked, "Do you believe that this marriage is unreconcilable and broken?" And she answered, "Yes."

Part of me wanted to throw up right there. The other part wanted to stand up and shout, "That is bull. You can save this marriage." It was a serious low.

I have never been this close to a divorce before. I've never seen it from the inside. I've never watched it happen. I've never prayed so much with a brother. I've never begged God so much to change a girls heart to save a marriage. It was sad.

I am glad that I was able to stand with my brother. I experienced the body of Christ with him. On Sunday night I watched him go in and out of a prayer room at our church with multiple groups of people praying for him. It was powerful to see the body rally around this broken brother. I'm blessed that I got to be a part of it.

But, regardless of how God received glory in this, I hated it. I hated watching her reject him and reject Him.

I'm sure God hated it too.

passion07

2007-01-06T16:54:00.000+01:00

I just got back from Atlanta (aka The ATL, Hotlanta, etc.). I got the opportunity to represent JV in Passion's Global Awakening Center. It was an unbelievable time. God was moving there. 25,000 students and volunteers combined to give about $700,000 to help build wells in Africa, send 20 Africans to college, build a community center in the middle of a college campus in Iraq, send 2500 Bibles to China, sign a petition that will go to the U.N. to stop the sex trafficing trade in Eastern Europe, translate the New Testament for two people groups who have never read the word in their own language before (!), provide about 50,000 socks and towels for the homeless in the Atlanta area and provide life saving surgeries for children in Central America.

We also got to talk to and pray with hundreds of students about what God is doing in Eastern Europe and thousands more made committments to going to serve God somewhere in the world! It was great to watch as students hearts grew for the world as the week went on.

Here is a pictoral highlight:

dread update #3: no rubberbands

2006-12-31T16:14:00.000+01:00

progress:

took rubberbands out.

hair is more frizzy.

look like a bum.

I got airpuffed at PDX

2006-12-31T09:22:00.000+01:00

I knew that having dreads would typecast me. I hate when people typecast. I hate preconceptions. I actually think that is a little of the reason that I have dreads…maybe it is a lot of the reason. I don’t want to fit into the mold of the clean-cut, nicely dressed missionary. Those who know me, know that I am definitely not that! I like being different...doing things differently. Part of it is just being fun and part of it is to challenge the status quo.

Anyways…this morning I totally got typecasted at Portland International Airport. I was going through security and before I got through Big Tall Security Man called me aside to stand in the Air-Puff-A-Rama. So, I stand in this ten foot tall glass machine, the guy tells me to stand still, and then puh-puh-puh-puh-puh…I get blasted with about eight to ten puffs of air! So, I’m like, “What the freak is this thing.” Then Big Tall Security Man tells me I’m finished. I ask Big Tall Security Man, “What was that for?” He replies, “Explosives and Drugs.” Oh drugs…that totally explains it.

So, I’ve been typecasted. I’m sure there is more of that to come.

America - its different here

2006-12-29T06:14:00.000+01:00

So, I've been in the States for almost five days now. It is different than Czech. Here are some interesting facts from the first week.

- I can speak English here.

- I can say "hi" to random people on the street.

- I've eaten mexican food three straight days...and it is cooked by Mexicans!

- I don't have to take my shoes off when I go into someone's home.

- I don't have to eat every morsel of food from my plate.

- I drive an automatic transmission.

- I can turn right on red.

- I am transfixed by television. Even the commercials hold my gaze.

- When I go to a store I don't have to think of what I'm going to say before I go in...I can just walk in and say it.

- Oregon is beautiful.

- Starbucks is everywhere...and oh so delightful.

Merry Christmas

2006-12-21T00:12:00.000+01:00

Please remember the reason for the season!

These are my gifts to you...enjoy!

songs for when i want to throw myself from a window

2006-12-18T20:19:00.000+01:00

yep, i just created that playlist.

it's been one of those nights.

i really can't articulate why (it would take too long). and its basically ministry/logistics related, so you wouldn't feel the impact even if i did explain it.

so, here is what i have on there:

redeemer - nicole c. mullen
just who i am - matt gibson
psalm 143 (revive me) - shane & shane
blessed be your name - passion band
only you - david crowder band
enough - passion band
*it is still a work in progress*

i like worship music. but i don't listen to it all the time. i listen to quite a variety of other things usually. but it seems that when things really hit the fan there is little else that will ground me like worship.

it points me to HIM.

it reminds me of who the CREATOR is.

it reminds me that HE is more than enough.

when all i want to do is complain, worry, disappear...it knocks me to my knees.

my "go to" song is REDEEMER. if i've got time for one. if i have 5 minutes (or 4:56 to be exact) to listen to a song, that's the one.

what do you listen to?

2 Years, 100 Posts

2006-12-15T23:44:00.000+01:00

Happy Blogaversary to me,
Happy Blogaversary to me,
Happy Blogaversary, dear naaay-aaate,
Happy Blogaversary to me.

Two years ago today I was sitting in the lobby of a resort on Kauai. I had just finished seminary and was on vacation with my family. I started a blog to chronicle the time leading up to Czech and to share my experiences while in Czech. So much has happened in the last two years.

I've tried to let you in.

I've tried to let you experience life through my eyes (however twisted it may be at times).

I've tried to let you into my heart. To hear why it beats.

I've tried to show you the many faces (and hairstyles) of nate.

I've tried to share my art.

I've tried to share me.

I know that I have been blessed by your comments, emails, and encouragement.

I hope that in some small way I have been a blessing to you.

To another two years (and more...)

*raise glass, look each other in the eye, clink, pound the table, tip it back*

halina

2006-12-15T23:33:00.000+01:00

dan

2006-12-15T23:28:00.000+01:00

earth and heaven

2006-12-15T09:26:00.000+01:00

sunset tonight

2006-12-14T22:45:00.000+01:00

sepia madness

2006-12-12T22:59:00.000+01:00

i don't usually like sepia. it is kinda depressing. but we went hiking in november and it was a sepia day. here is the outcome.

morning ritual

2006-12-12T09:30:00.000+01:00

bible and coffee

top pics from vienna

2006-12-11T08:49:00.000+01:00

art and life, life and art

2006-12-10T23:43:00.000+01:00

i find myself intentifying a lot more with art lately. i have never been artistic. the only instrument i ever played was the clarinet (only because we had to take one year of music and it was the only instrument we had in the house). i took a few art classes in high school, but mostly because they were chill (and the teacher was cute). but over the last year or two my love of art has grown. i've started playing the guitar on a regular basis. i've found great appreciation for photography. and, i've even thought about picking up a paintbrush (!).

i just returned from vienna. one of the great things about vienna is the multitude of art galleries and museums. yesterday we spent a couple hours at the albertina. they were hosting a picasso exhibit. ever since i saw picasso in dc in '98, i have loved his art. this particular exhibit was from the last decade of his life. probably a little too much anatomy for my taste, but still enjoyable.

while picasso was the draw, i was super impressed by two other artists that we saw. one famous, one not-so-famous. the famous one is andy warhol. we've all seen his pop art pictures, but to see them close up and to see the texture and the layering he used was quite impressive. posters and prints fail to do his work justice.

the other artist is a man by the name of franz gertsch. he is "famous" for his woodcuts. woodcut is where you take a piece of wood and carve your image into the wood. you then roll paint onto the wood, lay canvas or paper over the top of the wood and allow the paint to display your image onto the canvas. its like a big stamp. what makes gertsch's art so amazing is that his pieces are about 30x20 feet. they were massive. the above picture can't truly capture the unbelievable detail that went into making these woodcuts.

but, while standing in the midst of four of these enormous woodcuts and marvelling about how amazing art is, this Chilean boy (maybe 1 year old) caught my attention. his parents were letting him crawl around and we made eye contact. i waved. he gooed. i waved again. he gooed and crawled towards me. i hunched down, waved again. he gooed again and crawled closer. he came right to me. i grabbed him and held him so he was standing. he touched my beard. we "talked". he tried to break my bracelets. his mom came over. told me his name was tomas and that he'd never seen a beard before (apparently they don't have those in chile). we pried the bracelets from his kung-fu grip. we "talked" some more. i gave him back to his mom. we connected.

as i stood amidst all this wonderful art. i came face to face with true art.

us.

life.

babies.

i thought a lot about life and art for the rest of the day. how we are God's masterpiece. we are created in his image. he is beauty and somehow we are that beauty personified.

i thought about tomas. about how life connects. about how for five minutes in vienna a chilean baby and a 28-year old dreaded american connected.

life is art.

tomas is art.

*side note: in an effort to display some of my photography and to make it to 100 posts by my two-year blogiversary, i will be going on a post explosion over the next five days. so, enjoy.

www.

2006-12-06T22:14:00.000+01:00

So, I was thinking. How in the heck did the dudes who invented the world wide web have enough foresight to think that it would go world wide.

"Bob, Do you think we could connect people all over europe using computers?"

"I think we could. But what would we call it, Al?"

"Let's call it the european wide web and we'll start all of the pages with eww."

"Sounds like a great idea, Al, but don't you think that it could stretch into asia also."

"Good point, Bob, lets call it eaww, the eurasian wide web...actually, maybe it will stretch to the entire eastern hemisphere. We'll settle with ehww."

"Why stop there, Al? Let's go for the world!! www. sounds great to me."

"Who knows, though, maybe by the time this thing gets kick started people will be living in outer space. What about the osww."

"Come on. Now your really stretching it. Let's just stick with www. and hope for the best."

"OK."

dread update: one week

2006-12-03T19:34:00.000+01:00

Before I get to the pics I have a few things to say about dreads.

1. They are spelled dreads, not dreds.
2. They are a lot more work than I thought they would be.
3. There is an instant community that you join once you have dreads. I've already talked to a couple from Poland on the street.
4. I never thought I'd be walking around Cesky Tesin looking for "shampoo without residue" or "good hair wax".

OK, here are the latest pictures.

the day my parents have been dreding...

2006-11-26T17:42:00.000+01:00

I have been wanting dreds for a while now. I mean, really, why else would I have let my hair get so unbelievably long! So, it has finally happened. While at our annual Thanksgiving Gathering, one of my friends, Erin, said she knew how to do them. After hours of talking, getting caught up on The Office, watching football, playing Risk, and with some help from Lucka, I now have dreds.

I've learned a lot about dreds and how they work over the last few days. One thing I found out is that it takes about a month or two before they really start looking good. To stay up to date on "Dred Watch" (waa-konggg), check out this site for regular updates...

what ben said sarah said

2006-11-15T20:58:00.000+01:00

I am a HUGE Death Cab For Cutie fan. Maybe not as big as Seth Cohen (yeah, I watch The O.C.), but, still, a big fan. Sometimes I wonder if I were married if I would like them as much. I mean, Ben Gibbard writes amazing lyrics, but for the most part they are all about relationships...most of which are broken, trying to be fixed, long distance, trying to get back together, etc.

But there is one song that I've been thinking a lot about lately. It's called "What Sarah Said". It's a song about friends at a hospital watching their friend die. And it's what Sarah said that is the crux of the song.

"Love is watching someone die."

I really want to write a book about fellowship with my friend Sarah. I come from an amazing group of friends back in AZ and I've always known that there is something that is unique about our group. While brainstorming about the book, I've often pondered, "What made our group so different? So tight?"

Unfortunately, one of the things that has made us so close is death. We have lost two really close girl friends and one of our friends' dad. When I think of some of the times that really brought us close, I think to those days surrounding death.

Kulia died of cancer.

It was long.

It was painful.

There were many days and nights that we spent with her from when she found out to times in the hospital to the end.

But, it brought us close to her and close to one another.

When I think about what made my friends and I tight, I think about hanging out at Kulia's. I think about helping her move back home. I think about visiting her at the hospital. I think about hanging out with Greg the day his dad died and many nights afterwards.

You know who your friends are by who is there when you are dying...

I discussed this with my friends here (in Czech) the other night. There are some people that I'd live at the hospital for. If they were dying I'd be there all day. There are people who would do that for me. There are people who I wouldn't do that for. There are people who wouldn't do that for me.

"Love is watching someone die."

In the song, Ben asks the next logical question, "Who's gonna watch me die?"

I know this is a Debbie Downer post, but I think it amazing that we can be so affected by life...by death, that it somehow unites our souls. That one life can challenge us, can cause us to grieve, cause us to rejoice, cause us to think, cause us live...

That is something that science can't quantify.

God created us a relational beings. There is something in life. Some invisible force (or spirit, or something) that causes us to long for relationship...

...for belonging

...for love

It's what makes life and death so great and so painful. It's why as you read this you are thinking about loved ones you've lost and your heart grieves. But when you think to their life, you can't help but smile. You can't help but be filled with that bitter-sweet feeling that comes with remembering a good time with someone you've lost.

I remember trying to fix Kulia's broken down car in a monsoon in front of Blue Burrito.

We were soaked.

We were laughing.

Right now, I'm smiling.

We can mark people's lives by the way we love them.

So, I wonder, "Who's gonna watch me die?"

i am the church.

2006-11-09T11:25:00.000+01:00

do you want to see the church?

the diversity?

the beauty?

the culture?

the young and old?

see the church.

The things I learned being a father...

2006-10-29T18:07:00.000+01:00

So, Mel and Amy (my close missionary friends here in Cesky Tesin), got back today from 12 days in the States. While they were gone I got the privilege of helping to watch their three kids. Before I say anything, I just have to say that these kids are three of the best kids I know...seriously. I love them a TON. I am at their house at least once a week and hang out (ahem, uh, play video games) with Noah, the youngest, about once a week. But over the past 12 days I learned a ton living life with them.

1. I now know why parents are so eager to get home to their kids. I've often wondered why parents in ministry (specifically Mel and Amy, Goz and Tami, and Jason and Shannon) would leave an awesome ministry event early to get home to their kids. Now, don't get me wrong, I am all for family, but I always wondered why they were so urgent to leave...now I know. Last Friday, Lucka and I had a meeting in a town about 45 minutes away. We had told the kids we'd be back by around 4. The meeting ended up ending at four and we still had errands to run before we could go home...the entire last part of the meeting and as we were trying to leave I could only thing, "we have to get home to the kids..." I couldn't believe it. And it WASN'T because I was worried about them, it was because I genuinely missed them and I knew they missed us.

Goz, Tami, Jason, Shannon, Mel, and Amy: I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND NOW!

2. On Thursday night, Noah and Hayley (the middle one) had friends over. I couldn't believe how much they changed when their friends were there...and NOT for the good. It seemed like everything that we'd been working on throughout the week was lost when their friends arrived. They started doing things that they never did when their friends weren't there...I couldn't believe it. It immediately reminded me of how pissed my dad would get at me when I had my friends over. I never understood it, but I now I know...it was because I was acting a fool when my friends were over.

Dad: I'm so sorry for being an idiot whenever I had friends over.

*Side note: the kids weren't being terrible...it was just little things...but enough to notice...

3. Good parenting while they are young pays BIG dividends when the kids are older. Noah, Hayley, and Hannah are some of the most obedient and well behaved kids I've ever been around. They still fight, they still want to stay up past their bed time, they still don't want to do their chores, but when I had to get firm, they submitted. This isn't normal.

Mel and Amy: you have done a superb job raising these kids. I can only hope that my kids turn out as exceptional as yours!

4. Parents need to be on the same team. Lucka has watched these kids more times than she can count. I helped a little last year, but she is the one with all the knowledge. She knows the bedtimes, where they have to be, at what time, on which days, etc. So, a few of the first nights, she would tell the kids that they needed to be in bed by such-and-such a time and I would (trying to be the cool father) contradict her and say, "come on, Lucka, they can finish watching this show". She would get so pissed. She wouldn't say it, but I'd get those eyes...husbands, I'm sure you know them...I never did until this week. This happened a couple different times until finally Lucka said that I had to stop contradicting her. So, I worked on it and got better. Then one night, to spite me, Lucka totally contradicted me when I asked Noah to do something.

Lucka: Don't ever contradict me again!

The past 12 days have been tons of fun and such a blessing for me. I learned things from this time that will be invaluable when I raise my own kids.

photo project

2006-10-28T22:11:00.001+02:00

My friend, *thelongbrake, had a great idea to do a community photo project on his blog. He had people submit photos to him through email and then he posted them on his blog. There are some great pics on there, so check it out here.

my submission: fallen leaf.

Sydney Bristow's Czech is Terrible

2006-10-14T21:58:00.000+02:00

I know Alias and Sydney Bristow are sooooo early '00s, but during the early '00s I was studying in Seminary, working at a church and working another job to pay the bills, so I never had time to watch all these cool TV shows. But since living in the Czech and having a little more spare time at night, I've managed to watch most of the Alias TV series.

Prague is a favorite site for Alias. Sydney and gang are continually saving people, blowing things up, and butchering the Czech language. Now, I'm not saying that my Czech is great...I'm not even saying that my Czech is good, but Sydney's Czech is terrible. I was watching an episode this afternoon and they were in Prague and to prove to her new partner that he didn't belong she said something...I thought it was French, but then after he looked at her with a blank look she said (in a very smug way I might add), "It was Czech." I actually had to rewind the show and listen to her say it again in her terrible Czech (French) accent. I could barely understand her. I totally laughed, because she was trying to prove to her partner that she belonged and he didn't and her Czech was TERRIBLE.

This really ruined a lot of the show for me...as well as many others. As Americans we have a very limited understanding of the world and especially foreign languages, so when we watch someone speaking a foreign language in a movie or on TV, it can sound so real...well, now I know it is just a hoax. Jason Bourne...Ethan Hunt...Sydney Bristow...all frauds...

Now when Sydney speaks Korean, Russian, or Portuguese...I'll always wonder if it is really any good...man, that's a shame...

It's a Small (Blogger) World After All

2006-10-13T21:52:00.000+02:00

Cue music...OK, are you singing it, or at least humming it? Come on, join in...you know if you do it, those sweet lyrics will be cycling through your head all day...do you need some help? "It's a small world after all...it's a small world after all..." OK, good. Now enjoy the ride.

This morning my friend Bobby B sent me an email to check out one of his friend's blogs. Bobby and I love comics and this posting was about comics, so he sent me to Aubrey's Blog. It was a great post and I noticed that she had some really cool art on her site, so I clicked to make a comment and before making my comment, I read the other comments and to my shock and utter amazement (maybe that is a little hyperbolized), I see that *thelongbrake has posted a comment on her blog.

Now, *thelongbrake is a good friend that I met in the Czech in the summer of '05. He was serving in Slovakia for the summer. He and his friend wrote a funny blog that I read. Then he came back to the Czech this last summer at the tail end of his euro trip. We hung out a lot. Laughed a lot. Went to Poland together. Stormed a castle in Krakow. Hadukened kids. Had fun. I read his blog often.

I don't know Aubrey...I mean, we may have met once...but I don't really remember. I've heard a lot about her, because my friends Bobby and Kyle are starting a church with her and I've heard she is a cool artist.

So, all that to say, I thought it was bizarre that when checking out a blog from someone I don't really know, I saw a post from someone I do know and I don't know how they know each other.

"It's a small, small world..."

The Face of JV?

2006-09-26T14:03:00.000+02:00

Would you want this to be the face of your mission organization? I wouldn't either, but for some reason (and a lot of alcohol), some "higher ups" have selected me and a Polish girl named Marta to represent Josiah Venture at Passion '07.

Basically, Passion only selects a couple organization from each region of the world to represent that region at their conference. JV is one of those organizations for Europe. It is a huge honor for us to have been selected. Then each organization gets to select two people who will represent their organization in the actual GO Center. I feel really honored to be one of those that will get to represent the need for more laborers in Europe.

Oh, by the way, here is a picture of Marta.

She is pretty. When we found out that we had been selected she said, "Your the cool one, I'm the blond." I can see why they chose her, but the jury is still out on me...

Spiritual Spanking

2006-09-23T01:50:00.000+02:00

I received a spanking today. No paddle was used. I didn't have to pull my pants down. I am sitting down as I write and there is no discomfort. But, nevertheless, I received a spanking. That spanking came from the Holy Spirit. I'm pretty sure the HS doesn't look like the woman in the pic, but, well, I liked the pic. That is how I have felt the last couple of days.

I'm sitting on a nice leather couch in a hotel in the mountains near the Czech/Slovak/Polish border. It's a hotel that our organization owns and runs. Over the past week Americans and National leaders that make up JV have gathered here for our Fall Training Conference. What none of us realized before we came here is that the spiritual climate would be so rich. I don't know if I have ever entered into an atmosphere that has been so condusive to growth. I'm not the only one who has said it. The Polish Country leader said that this is the best conference he's ever been to and he has been on the field for over 10 years. Dann Spader, a well-known student ministry trainer and a JV Board member, said that he has a great sense that this conference would be a turning point for our organization. I've talked to many others who agree: the soil is rich here.

The spirit of this conference and the things that are being taught have been impacting my heart profoundly over the past couple days. It has been opening up chambers in my heart and propelling me to investigate deep areas of spiritual blindness in my life. I wish I could write everything that God is showing me. I feel like issue after issue is surfacing. I feel like issues that I have refused to turn over to God are being exposed and that I am finally ready to turn them over to Him. Since I can't write everything, I'll share and illustration that was shared with me tonight by a good friend...

We are like sailboats. And we are sailing along on this huge lake and when we go out onto the mission field its as if the lake is partially drained and all of these rocks appear. As we sail we begin running into all of these rocks. The rocks hurt and cause damage and we wonder, "Where did these come from? They weren't there before." But they were...they were there all along. They were just covered by water. That water is comfort. As a missionary, it is the comfort of America. It's the comfort of a good movie, the comfort of Oregano's, the comfort of friends and family. But when we step out of that comfort and it is drained away, we begin to experience inadequacy, incompetance, loneliness, a new culture, a foreign language, etc. and the rocks appear.

God doesn't just do this for missionaries, but I think it is just more certain that we will experience it because of our situation. God does it for people in America, but it is usally through tragedy or a drastic change in life. He drains our lake and reveals to us the rocks that have been hiding under the surface.

Yesterday my ship hit a rock. It was pretty small. Tonight I shipwrecked. I can barely think through everything that God showed me. But I know that I am at a critical point in my walk and that as I began to walk with the Spirit in these things God is going to begin to fill my lake back up. He is going to begin to fill those areas in my life and I will be able to sail in freedom knowing that those rocks are covered by Him and His grace.

Death House

2006-09-10T17:06:00.000+02:00

One night back in the US, Joe G, Christian and I were jacking around and during the process we invented a new reality TV show. As you read this post, please remember that this is a JOKE. While twisted...it is only a joke!

The name of this reality TV show is called: Death House. It goes something like this...20 people from various backgrounds are placed in a large house/mansion/whatever. At some random point (one hour, one week, one month, etc) in their living there all the lights in the house go off, red lights come on, and a siren goes off (Whoop, Whoop, Whoop). At this point, all the people in the house fight to the death. The catch is, weapons are not allowed! So, the contestants must find the nearest mirror/picture/lamp cord/sewing machine/potted plant and use it as a weapon to destroy their enemy.

You may be wondering, "What about the butchers knife in the kitchen, that could be used as a weapon"...Your right, it could, if it weren't chained to the wall with a chain that doesn't extend further than the counter top! You also may be wondering, "Nate, what happens if someone gets overzealous and kills someone outside of the official killing time?" Well, they are killed by bayonet, of course. One shot to the stomach and then the bayonet knife through the jaw.

So, at random times, while hanging out with Christian, Joe G, and our friends, one of us will sound the alarm (whoop, whoop, whoop) and Death House will ensue. This game has traveled to the Czech is now quickly spreading to places all over the world. Here are some pictures (some of which have been emailed to me from locations all around the world)...feel free to submit your own!

Best of the Rest

2006-09-01T21:02:00.000+02:00

Since I committed to only one pic a day, there were many days where I was faced with a tough choice. That being said, for your viewing pleasure, I've decided to post those pics that barely missed the cut...

munich: beer garden

munich: park

venice: on a boat

venice: in a square

venice: view from a dock

florence: people in a square

rome: paul taking a pic

rome: coliseum battle

rome: stairs

rome: coliseum at night

adriatic: sunrise on a boat

August 31st: Home

2006-08-31T20:46:00.000+02:00

August 30th: Ljubliana, Slovenia, Day One

2006-08-30T19:47:00.000+02:00

August 29th: Croatia, Day One

2006-08-29T20:44:00.000+02:00

August 28th: Naples, Day Three

2006-08-29T10:50:00.000+02:00

I have refrained from talking about each picture in order to let the picture speak for itself, but this is worth talking about.

The last three nights I was staying with my friend, Seth. Seth is in the US Navy and is stationed in a small city near Naples named Pozzuoli. Not only is it one of the most beautiful cities that I have seen on my travels, but it is also the city once know as Puteoli. Know the significance? Read Acts 28:11-14...this is the very city in which Paul arrived in Italy before going to Rome! And this church is the church built near the place where Paul landed.

Travelling through Italy has been wonderful historically, but to walk the streets of a small ancient town where Paul once spent a week was one of my highlights. To think back to a time when a young church was flourishing and growing and to know that it is my story too. I am linked to this city, because Paul made disciples, who made disciples, who made disciples, who made disciples...you get it.

August 27th: Naples, Day Two

2006-08-27T23:38:00.000+02:00

August 26th: Naples, Day One

2006-08-26T23:51:00.000+02:00

August 25th: Rome, Day Four

2006-08-26T23:47:00.000+02:00

August 24th: Rome, Day Three

2006-08-24T22:54:00.000+02:00

a fourth interlude

2006-08-23T23:58:00.000+02:00

Man, I can't keep quiet. I tried to do only pictures, but I have to express myself in words.

That is a picture of St. Peter's Basilica in Vatican City. We went there today. It is by far the most impressive church that I have ever stepped foot in. Michaelangelo (the artist, not the Ninja Turtle) was the architect for the majority of it. Inside and out, it is beautifully constructed. There are only three paintings in the entire church and the rest is decorated by beautifully intricate mosaics that, beyond ten feet away, look like paintings. Ornate marble statues are placed throughout. There is only one window that has stained glass, because Bernini, the "interior decorator", wanted natural light to highlight the sculptures and to radiate off the mosaics and jewels. It is an amazing structure.

But my heart was heavy the entire time I was there.

I couldn't help but wonder what Jesus would think of such a building. I also couldn't help but wonder what things do we create as Christians now that are meant to be impressive, but are ineffectual for building community and proclaiming the gospel.

My heart hurt as our tour guide explained that Michaelangelo wasn't paid for his work on the church because, "it was for the salvation of his soul and to the glory of God." I'm not doubting his heart, but did he get it? Did he understand that the God to whom he was doing this beautiful piece of art was the one who saved his soul? What works am I doing that I feel are earning me my salvation?

My heart hurt when my tour guide talked about the papal throne.

She talked about how the pope viewed himself as the most powerful religious figure in the world and that the succession was Christ, Peter, and then the Pope. Did they get it? Did they get that Jesus wasn't about acquiring power, but serving? I also wondered who are our popes? Is Rob Bell a pope to me? Are we crushed because Darryl isn't the pastor of SBC?

My heart was burdened today. The Vatican was amazing, but stirring. I just hope that just because we are "Protestants" that we don't ever forget that we can fall into the same traps of the Catholic church.

Hair Anniversay

2006-08-23T23:50:00.000+02:00

I haven't cut my hair for one year!

August, 2005

August, 2006

April 23rd: Rome, Day Two

2006-08-23T23:45:00.000+02:00