Tests

I have been experiencing some severe testing over the last couple weeks. At first the tests were infrequent enough to make me think that maybe God was trying to get my attention, but then yesterday the testing showed itself for what it is.

A few weeks ago one of my friend who is starting a new progressive church asked me if I was moving to the Czech for sure. I said yes and then asked why. He brushed the question off, but when I pressed him, he said because the church that is funding his church is looking for a high school pastor. I laughed, said thanks for thinking of me, and dismissed it. Then two days later another friend who may be working with the previous church approached me and asked if I was 100% certain that I was going to the Czech. I immediately knew why he was asking, but I still pushed it with him and he said, because this church is looking for a high school pastor. Again flattered I told him that I am for sure going to the Czech. As I walked away I began to think how cool it would be to work with those two guys, but I know that the Czech is where I am to be.

A couple days later as I was talking to my high school pastor, he began to tell me about all these cool churches that are looking for positions as well. Again I laughed and told him that I am going to the Czech. My outward confidence did not coincide with the doubts that were creeping into my mind. Should I go to the Czech? What do I do with all the money that has already been donated if I decide to stay? It sure would be fun to work with my friends! I knew it was ridiculous to even entertain these thoughts, but these other opportunities sounded so good.

Then yesterday I got the most ridiculously intriguing offer of all. My friend Frank called me. He is the missions youth pastor for a large church just outside of Oceanside, CA (the city my sister lives in). We hadn't spoken in a while and as we were catching up and talking about our respective churches, he told me that a couple of the youth pastors from his church have just left and that he thought it would be cool for me to go out and interview for the position. I literally laughed out loud. This confirmed what I had only assumed before, I was being tested. I told him about the other churches that have approached me and how there have been a lot of great opportunities for me recently. It would be so sweet to work with him and live near my sister and brother, but I keep reflecting back on what my friend Sean told me as I discussed this with him: "Anything worth doing is worth sacrificing for."

Don't we live for an exciting God? I could easily be anxious about all of these opportunities. I could easily question my calling and wonder if I'm doing the right thing. But we live for a God who is with us. His Spirit abides in us and guides us. I can go with confidence to the Czech, knowing that if I am obedient to his command of making disciples and if I am living my life in holiness, then I will be in God's will. What other belief system can offer that type of freedom and guidance?

Academy Awards and Reviews

For the first time in my life I was able to see all five films nominated for Best Picture before the Academy Awards. It took me seeing Aviator on last Saturday at 11:00 AM to accomplish the feat, but I got it done. I have already posted reviews on Sideways and Million Dollar Baby and since I don't want this post to be too long, I will post "mini-reviews" (said in Dr. Evil's voice) for the other three movies.

RAY: Unbelievable acting by Jamie Foxx!! I don't think anyone was surprised by the fact that he won best actor. There was really no point in the movie where I felt like I wasn't watching Ray Charles. Foxx was commanding. For those of us who were in the dark about Ray Charles' talent and brilliance, this movie opens us up to the magic of Ray Charles. The music in the movie is wonderful and I left the movie wishing that I had been a Ray Charles fan before his death. I find myself searching itunes regularly for Ray Charles songs now!

FINDING NEVERLAND: This is actually my favorite of all the Best Picture films. I am a sucker for cool cinematography and this movie has some great scenes. The movie is about J.M. Barrie, the author of Peter Pan, and his relationship with the family that inspired his tale. The movie captures the magic of children and living life to its fullest. It is a movie for dreamers and for those who don't ever want to grow up (see why I liked it!). Johnny Depp captures us again with his great acting and Kate Winslet and Dustin Hoffman (yes, Captain Hook, from Hook-brilliant casting) both do excellent jobs. But stealing many scenes is the young actor Freddie Highmore, who plays Peter Llewelyn Davies, the character Barrie names Peter Pan after. It is the most uplifting of all the movies and it is difficult to leave the theatre without tears in your eyes.

THE AVIATOR: This was probably the closest thing to an epic this year had to offer. Martin Scorsese (who I think got robbed of Best Director) creates a masterful timepiece tale of Howard Hughes. The airplane scenes that he depicts are amazingly accurate and make the movie come alive. The costumes and the cast of old school actors and actresses that intercept Hughes' life helps to bring the 20s, 30s and 40s come to life. Leonardo DiCaprio (who I don't enjoy--I hated Titanic--I think its one of the most overrated movies in history) does a masterful job. I have no idea what Howard Hughes was like in real life, but DiCaprio was brilliant in what Scorsese wanted to depict. Similarly to Foxx, I rarely felt like I was watching DiCaprio. He took command of the screen throughout the entire movie.

RECAP: While there was no clearly great movie for this years' Best Picture, I think it is one of the deepest years in a while. Sideways was not good, but the rest of the movies were excellent films and highly entertaining. They all had very powerful qualities (the story of Finding Neverland, the ethical questions and acting of Million Dollar Baby, and the great lead actors for Ray and The Aviator). I would definitely recommend these four movies for anyone who wants to see a good flick.

A Bitter Heart and Our Redeemer

I had my garage sale today. Amidst the pouring rain, it was a great success. I woke up at 5:30, made coffee, and then got ready to put the signs out. As I started to push the garage door opener a thought flashed trough my mind, "go through the front door." The idea of having to unlock the front gate and squeeze through the front door carrying boxes with "Garage Sale" signs attached to them in the rain didn't appeal to me, so I proceeded to push the garage door opener. Before the door was even fully up I realized that I should've listened to the voice in my head. Suddenly, a rush of people crowded into the already full garage. I was overwhelmed. It was only 5:45!! Were these people insane. Suddenly cash was flying around as people jockeyed for a chance to negotiate an angel ornament down from $.50. Dollars were flashed in front of my face as I realized that I had just sold two TVs for $30 when the original asking prices were $25 and $20 respectively. It wasn't even six (the original start time) and I was already being talked down on some of my biggest items. Eventually the flurry ended and I was able to sit down and realize that I had just sold $200 worth of stuff and it was barely 6:15. After I got organized I began to read my Bible. Just then an older gentleman strolled into the garage. We exchanged pleasantries and he perused through the merchandise. Before he left he noticed the bible opened in front of me. He said, "So, your reading the Scriptures, huh?" I replied briefly that I was doing the garage sale to raise money to go to the Czech. Seemingly uninterested, he said, "Well, do you want to know my favorite verse?" I said I did, but the look on his face concerned me. For some reason I didn't trust this man. I suddenly wondered what verse he was going to tell me. Was he some cynic who had flirted with Christianity at some point in his life and now was going to tell me some verse that was totally taken out of context? He then wrote down Job 19:25. Once I saw Job I knew that it could've been something crazy. We said bye and he walked out. I couldn't wait to see what he wrote. My fingers flipped through the pages with ease. Job 36, Job 3, Job 20. My eyes darted up the page. Verse 29, 28, 27, 26. There it was: verse 25. "For I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last he will stand upon the earth." I was immediately convicted, encouraged, ashamed, and excited. My heart hurt because I had totally questioned this man and his intention to encourage me. I was excited and encouraged, because one of my favorite songs and the one song I turn to when I am discouraged is Redeemer by Nicole C. Mullen. I'm listening to the song right now. Just to hear those first couple chords always reminds me of what a BIG God we serve.

The garage sale was a success and I made good money, but what was more valuable than the money, was the eternal investment that the older gentleman made into my life by writing down one verse.

Blue Hairs and Million Dollar Baby

A chick boxer? I wasn't too excited to see this movie, but Lisa and I didn't have another choice since the theatre was overrun by "blue hairs". We had orininally planned on seeing Aviator, but when we arrived (at 3:00 on a Wednesday I might add) the theatre was crawling with old people and Aviator was sold out. I know that I tend to exagerate, but what we saw was an unbelievable sight. First off there wasn't the usual madness in front of the ticket counter with multiple lines blending together all jockeying for the next open window. There was one long line of people each waiting for their turn to purchase a ticket. I asked Lisa to look around and tell me if she noticed anything unusual. Lisa didn't notice it at first, but it was glaringly obvious that we were the youngest people there by a good forty years! After scanning quickly for any sign of life (and finding only a seven year old boy and another teenage boy) we realized that there were hundreds of old people there. I don't know if the local retirement home was on a field trip or what, but it was very eerie. We eventually got our tickets and proceded to the theatre hoping to find some people our age. When we got into the Cine Capri it was as if they were filming a remake of Cacoon and we had stumbled into the casting call. We walked slowly up to the top where two empty seats remained next to Wilford Brimley and Jessica Tandy (notice the clever refernce to Cacoon again).

The movie was very good. I didn't expect it to be. I'm usually skeptical of female athletics (sorry girls), but this movie was about much more than that. I must say that the fight scenes were pretty sweet though. While I don't prefer female sports, it is pretty sweet to see chicks beat each other up! The movie is about relationships (broken and restored) and moral dilemmas and explores the question of euthinasia. Any movie that can get me thinking about morality and what is ethical and what isn't, is worth seeing. The movie is stirring and left me wondering what I would do if placed in the situations that the characters are placed in. Beyond that, the acting is wonderful (what do we expect with Clint Eastwood and Morgan Freeman starring together). Hillary Swank also does a very good job, but Eastwood and Freeman steal the show, especially in their interaction with one another. I would highly recommend this movie.

Skeeter and I

Skeeter is the name of Christian and Jenni's dog. He has a sister named Kona. Skeeter injured his knee and had to have knee surgery to repair it. Since Kona is the hyper-active of the two, Christian and Jenni decided to have Christian's parents watch Kona while Skeeter was rehabbing his knee. This has made Skeeter a very lonely dog.

I moved into Christian and Jenni's house about three weeks ago. On the day I was moving in I suffered the most extremely lonliness that I have felt since I decided to move to the Czech. At first I didn't understand what was going on. I even found myself wondering if I should even go to the Czech. I immediately captured that thought as a lie from the devil and spent some time praying and listening to worship music. The feeling wouldn't pass though.

As I unpacked boxes and got my new room ready, Skeeter kept coming into my room. I don't particularly like animals (I don't hate them-I'm just indifferent), and I don't have lots of experience with them, but I could see the loneliness in Skeeters eyes. I thought about him some and I thought it was odd that he would be lonely even though I was there. I was being extremely friendly to him and petting him, but he kept wimpering...then I realized that he missed Jenni and Christian. Even though I look similar to the other humans that he normally sees and even though I do the same things that they do, he knew I wasn't his owner...

I think it will be the same for me in the Czech. I will be around many people. They will all do similar things that my friends and family do. They will speak, act, and live in a similar fashion to how people do things here, but they will be different. And I will experience lonliness.

I'm actually thankful for that period of lonliness. I feel that it was God's way of giving me a taste of what I will experience in the Czech. It really caught me off guard here, but I am still surrounded my family and friends who love me, so the lonliness has departed for now. I don't know what I would have done if that fit of lonliness had struck while I was in the Czech...it would've been very difficult for me to break out, but now that I have experienced it, I know how to pray for it and I know that I need to be praying about it and when that feeling of lonliness occurs in the Czech there will at least be some familiarity.

Orange Slice or Punctuality

As I was pulling out of the SBC parking lot the other day to drive my leaky car to work, I stopped to pull a slice of orange from the half that sat in my lap. In the brief moment that it took to peel the slice off and place it in my mouth I had missed my opportunity to turn right. Like the shutes at a race track, the light at 76th Street had turned green and released the horses. I was brutally close to being late for work already and so as I sat there waiting for the chute to close again I thought to myself, "Why did I peel the orange now." I could have easily done it a minute (or even ten seconds later) and I would've been on my way to work. Instead I was delayed as I looked over my shoulder for the opportune time to make my way onto the race track. Then it dawned on me...the orange tasted good. In my haste to feed my own desires, I had caused myself to be late to work. Was eating a slice of orange better than being on time to work...of course not, but at the time all I wanted was the juicy necter in my mouth.

This is just a small example of what we do on a daily basis. We foresake what we know is better for immediate gratification. I was dissapointed with myself. No so much that I was a couple minutes late (no one even noticed), but that I didn't even think about it. I didn't even think of what was more profitable; I just ate. It made me wonder how many better choices I overlook on a daily basis for the sake of instant gratification...

Movie Reviews: Sideways, Spanglish, Eternal Sunshine

Sideways: Probably overrated. While I love dialog movies, I also value originality and I thought that this movie lacked that. The best way I can describe it is as a darker, mid-thirties version of Swingers (one of my all-time favs. The movie is about two men who go to the SoCal wine country for a week before one of their weddings. There is some cool imagery between wine and a persons personality, but a lot of the wine references were lost on me (I'm a beer guy!). This is definitely not a date movie, with two brief sex scenes and a scene with a fully nude man running down the street (yes, they show EVERTHING). It is nominated for some Golden Globes, but I wasn't overly impressed.

Spanglish: This movie exceded my expectations and I had high expectations going in. The characters are very rich. From the lovable, mildly overweight little girl (I only comment on her weight, because it plays a role in the movie) to the alcoholic grandmother all the characters are deep and wonderfully presented. Adam Sandler does a great job playing a very successful chef and father in a disfunctional family. It is very different from any other role that I've seen him in (I never saw Punch Drunk Love) and he does a great job. Tea Leoni is also wonderful and the hyperactive mother. Her transformation in the movie as a wonderfully inviting and friendly wife to a controlling and disturbing woman is wonderfully done. Newcomer Paz Vega does a fantastic job as the Mexican Housekeeper of Sandler and Leoni's family. She is radiant and commanding as a somewhat tentative, but eventually firey and strong mother. The interactions between the family members are memorable. It isn't nominated for any Golden Globes, but I think it is more deserving than Sideways.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: This is my favorite of all three, which is saying a lot, because of how much I loved Spanglish. It gets the nod because it is so unbelievably creative and bizarre! It is about a company that erases the memories of people from their minds. It follows Jim Carrey as he finds out that Kate Winslett has erased him from her mind, so he procedes to do likewise, but during the middle of the procedure he decides he doesn't want to erase her. The majority of the film is inside of his mind (very Charlie Kaufman, the director). Jim Carrey and Kate Winslett do brilliant jobs and both are nominated for Golden Globes (as is the film). It is creatively filmed and is very bizarre! Although I figured it out early (as I often do in weird movies-I think my mind is jacked up) it keeps you guessing the entire time. It is out on video so you can rent it now. The other two movies are only in the theatres.

Well, I hope you enjoyed the reviews and I hope this helps you figure out what to see next.

Movie Reviews

I have decided to start reviewing movies. I know that I have a very unique taste for movies, but I think that I am critical enough to where I won't send anyone to a bad movie and the movies that I think are good, others will think so as well. I hope to get some of you to go to movies that you normally won't go to and uncover some hidden gems for you. I love bizarre movies, so take that into account, but I'll be sure to let you know if the movie is bizarre or not. Stay tuned for reviews!

Vacation

These last few days have been very interesting. I'm not complaining...that's for sure, but I have had mixed feelings about this time here in Kauai. I realized that this is the first vacation that I've had in eight years. Yeah, I've travelled all over the world leading mission trips and I've had an occasional weekend jaunt here and there, but is it really a vacation when while sitting at Wrigley Field all you can think about is how I should be getting caught up on my History of Christianity reading or while I'm driving to San Francisco to see the Giants play, I'm memorizing Hebrew words? I hardly think so. The past few days have been wonderful. I have been reading like crazy. I am devouring books. If the pages were made of cookies, then I'd be the Cookie Monster. I didn't think that I'd want to read this much, but it has been great to read mindless novels. But something else has been nagging at me...Goz calls it "Phantom Homework", but I feel like I should be doing something. I feel this invisible weight on my shoulders. Can I really have no agenda for the day? Is it O.K. for me to wake up and go surfing, then drink a margarita and hot tub, then go horseback riding, then have another margarita and then fall asleep in front of the television? I know that there is nothing to do, but I almost feel guilty being here. As you are reading this you are thinking, "No way, Nate, you deserve this vacation." Or maybe, "Everyone needs a break every now and then." I know you're thinking that, because those are the things that I keep thinking, but then I think, "Did Paul take vacations? Did Jesus tell the disciples, 'Hey, guys, I'm heading off with Mary (sliding reference to the recent Da Vinci Code upheavel), and we're going to the Med for a little vaca. Please don't try and contact me. Petey, you and JonJon take care of all the healings and demoniacs. Oh, and Barthalomew, make sure the boys don't fight about who's better. You know how those boys are always bickering. If anything really bad happens, like Lazarus dying, don't worry, I'll be back in a week and I'll take care of it then. If you really need anything go to Martha, she'll definitely fix you up something to eat and give you a place to stay.'" I'm pretty sure that Jesus didn't do anything like that, but then I realized that just because I'm on vacation doesn't mean I can't be doing ministry. If my life is truly to be a living offering, then I need to be doing ministry here. Whether it is to my mom, dad, sister, or brother-in-law or to the random guy I meet while surfing, I can do ministry. I can be a witness here. On this beautiful island. In between sunning and surfing, I can be a light for Christ. Then I think to myself, "Should I really move to Czech, there are plenty of lost people right here on the beach, maybe I'll just stay here..."

Paradise

Right now I'm in paradise. I am currently sitting in the lobby of our hotel (the only spot to get wireless internet) on the beautiful island of Kauai! I am still in awe with the scenic views and unending possibilities for adventure. I had originally planned on just sitting on the beach, reading, and relaxing after four long years of Seminary, but the lucious green landscape has beckoned to me and I feel like I'd be cheating on the island if I didn't go and try to do more here.

The past to days have been a challenge for my out of shape and study-logged body. On monday, after twenty minutes of surfing (my first time in which I got up multiple times, but only for a split second each time) I felt I couldn't go any more. But with my brother-in-law going strong and a very pretty surfer girl still catching waves I found myself compelled to continue well past my bodies limits. Then today we went on a two-hour horseback ride in which there will multiple times I just wanted to turn Hank (my horse) loose to harken back to the days when I dreamed of being Billy the Kid or Doc Holliday. Then, much to my dismay and tepid pleasure, I found out we were going water skiing on an island river. But after one run of slolem skiing and one run of wakeboarding (in which I experienced a serious face plant and a wicked crash) my body was ready to give up. I am definitly out of shape!! But it was nothing that a margarita, Corona and a belly full of Ahi couldn't fix.

First Post

The idea of having a blog is exciting to me. While I love to write, I haven't written anything other than theological and biblical papers over the last four years of my life. As I read other blogs (especially Sarah's) I'm intimdated by the articulate and crafty writting, knowing that my blog will pale in comparison. Yet, I am compelled to write. I am compelled to share what is going on in my life. While I'm in Arizona, I'm sure my blog will be filled with familiar stories, but what will be exciting is when I go to the Czech. My hope is that by having an outlet to share thoughts, feelings, stories, and adventures I will continue to connect with those of you that I consider family and friends. Happy reading and I look forward to reading your comments.

nate