Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Boy, why are you crying?


I've always loved the story of Peter Pan and its various derivations (Hook and Finding Neverland being two of my favorites). Something about a boy who doesn't grow up has always appealed to me. I'm not sure why...

Of all the different variations of Peter Pan that I've seen, I'd actually never read the novel by J.M. Barrie. While hanging out with Red this past weekend she said that I needed to read it and that it'd "change my life".

Already a magical tale, it became more alive as I read the original. Peter was cockier, Tink was feistier, Hook was meaner (but still concerned with "good form"), Wendy more motherlier, the entire story darker and more imaginitive than I could've expected.

While the story didn't change my life it nicely supplimented some thoughts I'd already been having about growing up...

_____


The last two weeks I've been hanging out with a group of college students from Moody Bible Institute. I've always identified myself with high school and college aged students. Even though I'm...uh hum...twenty-eight (letters are easier to look at than numbers), I feel closer to the them than to "adults". I'm sure that is part of the reason that I am in youth ministry.

As I hung out with this group of (primarily) 19-22 year olds, for the first time in my life I realized the real gap between

me










them

I didn't like this realization.

I am like Peter Pan.

"I don't want ever to be a man," he said with passion. "I want always to be a little boy and to have fun." (pg. 28)
"Keep back, lady, no one is going to catch me and make me a man." (pg. 174)

I'm pretty sure I've made those exact same statements before. The former to my mom and the latter to a couple girls I've dated.

During a discussion group at an English Camp with the Moody students the question was asked, "Who has the greatest influence on your life?" As we went around and shared I began to wonder: Am I the type of man that is influencing others? Am I a man who is helping to steer young men and women towards Christ? Sometimes I fear that I only care about having fun. I know that I am a fun-maker. I love having fun. But isn't there more to life than just having fun? Too often I choose fun over discipline and find myslef having lots of friend, but maybe little impact...

I don't want to give up having fun, but I also don't want that to be the only characteristic that defines me. I want to be a man who has profound impact on individuals.

_____


There are numerous other things though, that I continue to love about Peter Pan and this story. What inspired me so much about Finding Neverland was Barrie's recalcitrance towards those who are trying to crush the imaginative nature of children. There is something magical about the way children think outside the box. They haven't been indoctrinated by society of the "oughts" and "ought nots" of life. They can make a common stick a sword and a t-shirt a dress. There are no boundries to the imagination of a child.

Yet, there comes a time when we grow out of it. For those who do it sooner than others, we ridicule and mock the younger ones around us who dwell in the land of pirates, dinosaurs, and elegant balls. And as adults we feel like we need to correct the children and help them to see life "as it is".

My favorite passage of the book speaks to this:

"Mrs. Darling first heard of Peter when she was tidying up her children's minds. It is a nightly custom of every good mother after her children are asleep to rummage in their minds and put things straight for the next morning, repacking into their proper places the many articles that have wandered during the day. If you could keep awake (but of course you can't) you would see own mother doing this, and you would find it very interesting to watch her. It is quite like tidying up drawers. You would see her on her knees, I expect, lingering humorously over some of your contents, wondering where on earth you had picked this thing up, making discoveries sweet and not so sweet, pressing this to her cheek as if it were as nice as a kitten, and hurriedly stowing that out of sight. When you wake in the morning, the naughtiness and evil passions with which you went to bed have been folded up small and placed at the bottom of your mind; and on the top, beautifully aired, are spread out your prettier thoughts, ready for you to put on."

I want to keep writing. I want you to experience the mind of Barrie as he unlocks a childs mind for us again, but I can't write the whole book out because, well, (a) it'd take to long, and (b) there may be copywrite infringements, so I'll just have to urge you to read it yourself.

As for me, I find myself trapped somewhere between Neverland and Adulthood. Longing to hold tight the tension between the innocent freedom of dreaming and playing and the responsibility to be a man who impacts others and lives in maturity.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

the dream is over



i love facial hair.

when i lived in arizona i was always opressed by "the man"...the man being some job that i worked at that regulated what i could grow. the best i could do was sideburns and even those were regulated...they couldn't be too long or too bushy.

well all that has changed on the mission field.

i have been able to experiment and change it up quite often. my little heart has been filled with joy.

one of those heart warming adventures has been my six month old beard.



i've grown quite fond of the "little" guy, but i knew his time was drawing to an end. summer is coming and summer is no place for a beard of this magnitude although two of my friends disagree.





so, tonight the dream ended. i'll be honest in saying that i was more sad than i thought that i'd be. so distraught was i, that i had to take a moment alone with my beard in the bathroom to say some final words to one another. i did most of the talking.

the culprit:



the process:







the outcome:



i'm pretty sure the 'stache is only for 24 hours...

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

mixtape



anyone who knows me, knows that i LOVE music. i wish that i could have a soundtrack made of my life. in fact, if we are ever sharing the same network and you have access to my itunes you can see the soundtracks i've created for different periods of my life. i'd love for music to play in the background of different fun/crucial/romantic/intense/powerful moments of my life...i think it would add a little something

as far as i know that won't be happening anytime soon, so in the mean time i found this cool idea on josh's blog.

so here is what you do:

1. scan through your itunes or cd library. refamiliarize yourself with the nooks and crannies of your musical options.
2. identify five categories — genres, if you will — of music. these should be as obscure and finely-articulated as you’d like. feel free to use modifiers liberally.
3. nominate — select, really — a “perfect song” for each category. include a link for each song to something (the amazon page for the CD, or the artist’s website, or whatever). you may find it easier, as i did, to find “perfect songs”, and craft categories or genres around them.
4. ideally, some of the songs will be nominally obscure, or, at least, not completely mainstream and overplayed. no need to tell us all about songs we all know!

So…let’s get on with it. I give you the perfect song for…

"the walk to your girlfriends house after realizing that you made a mistake and have to go and apologize to her" I Go To The Barn Because I Like The by Band of Horses

"drinking yourself silly (no i don't believe in drunkeness, but I can imagine that this would be a good song for it) after your girl breaks up with you" Light Up The Room by Mumm-Ra

"strutting...preferably through a trendy european city (i.e. Prague) on a friday night in the bar district" We Used To Be Friends by The Dandy Warhols

"stalking someone" Goodnight and Go by imogen heap

"looking out of the window of a train as you ponder life, love, and the world" Orange Sky by Alexi Murdoch

while i wasn't tagged for this by anyone like in the other blogs, i'm still going to tag a couple people:

kyle
aubrey
jessica red

kyle, aubrey, jess: you're it.

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