i spoke in church on sunday

you may not think that speaking in church is a big deal, especially for me, since i talk all the time, but it is a big deal when it is in czech!

last monday, during my prayer and fasting day concerning my future (see previous post), one of the things i felt like God was calling me to was getting more involved in my local church.

every week at church the mic is open for the congregation to share whatever God is doing in their lives...often times they turn into preachamonies*.

well, this past sunday, as i sat in the pew worshipping, i felt compelled to share my decision to stay with the church...the only problem is that i also felt compelled to share it in czech.

[let's take a brief moment to talk about the czech language barriar. i can hear many of you saying to yourselves, "Come on, Nate, you've lived in Czech for almost two years, you should totally be fluent by now." well, czech is freakin' hard, so back off!! seriously, czech is hard. people who have lived here for twelve-years are still studying! yeah, its that hard.]

so anyways, i was super nervous to share in czech, but i knew i had to.

the worship band is made up of some students from the youth ministry and is lead by a friend of mine, so all of them know me...they also know my czech skill. so, when i stood up and began walking up to the pulpit, i could read the looks on their faces:

"oh, my gosh! what is he thinking?"
"he isn't going to ask me to translate is he?"
"is nate getting up to use the bathroom?"

when i got to the podium and began speaking the looks of the people in the congregation were classic. they looked like they were watching the children's program on Easter. They had that leaned forward/what cute thing is he going to say/awwwww, isn't he cute look on their faces.

i then stummbled through a testimony (i'm sure it wasn't long enough to be a preachamoney) in my broken czech. making statements that probably sounded like this:

"i live here two years"
"God lead me here"
"i decide stay"
"hard it is because the family and lots friends live there"

i finished.

they clapped. i'm pretty sure it was because i spoke in czech, not because i'm staying.

so, that was it. i spoke in church on sunday.

*def: a testimony which is longer (sometimes much longer) than it should be. it often includes a passage of scripture, a three-point outline, and multiple illustrations. it never extends long enough to ever be called a sermon.

the atlantic was born today and i'll tell you how

for nearly two years i've lived in the czech. my official two-year term is nearing an end.

inevitably, i am asked the question by family and friends (on both sides of water), "so, are you staying here [coming back]"?

i've put the answer off for a long time.

partly to pray about it, but mostly because i was scared.

scared to commit [go back].
scared to hurt my family [disappoint people here].
scared of drudging through the cultural challenges [readjusting back to us culture].
scared of the ???????????.

but, finally, i've made my decision.

__________

it started in autumn. things had been tough. there were cultural struggles, ministry challenges, the language barrier, loneliness, etc. i was praying one morning about what GOD wanted me to do and the SPIRIT clearly spoke,


"I don't want you to leave czech until I call you somewhere else."


i didn't like that answer. life was hard. it would be easier/better/more fun/insert good feeling here ________ if i went back to the states. i begrudgingly accepted this from GOD, but hoped HE would change HIS mind.

ff >>

it was a sunny january day in az and bobby b and i were kicking it for our regular half-day comic book run/fashion square/good food/hang out and somewhere between spider-man and baseball the conversation turned to ministry. bobby was sharing some thoughts on some recent changes he'd made in ministry location and said, "one thing that has always stuck out to me was something Oswald Chambers wrote. he said,


'never leave the place GOD called you last until HE calls you to somewhere else.'"

GOD didn't change HIS mind. this was confirmation.

i still waited to make my decision though.

ff>>

monday.

czechs celebrate easter monday. it is really a bizarre celebration with some interesting traditions. but, regardless, it is a day off.

i spent my day with the LORD.

i decided that monday was my decision day. i took the day, went to a lake (which was really a resevoir for drinking water with no way to get down to the lake to enjoy nature--i was not happy) spent an hour there, then went and hung out in a cafe for four hours.

i read.

i prayed.

i asked GOD for guidance/direction/what HE wanted from me for the next five years.

HE answered.

it was powerful.

i expected HIM to show me some great vision for the future--some beautifully laid out ministry plan.

what i got was a load of specific verses of !who! GOD was calling me to !be!

maybe some day i'll share those, but i've delayed telling my decision for

l
o
n
g

e
n
o
u
g
h

GOD is calling me to stay.

even as i write this i think of the countless friends and family back in the states that i miss and the sound of disappointment that i've heard in my family's voices this week as i've told them of my decision.

it grieves my heart.

but,

i know that GOD is in this.

i know that HE is providing new friends and family for me here. never to replace those in the states, but to fill up what i am missing.

i know that HE is preparing works for me to do that are specificly tailored to my giftedness and passion.

i know that HE is changing me in ways that I could never be changed back in the states.

i know that HE is calling me to this.

i can step into that with confidence.

suffering servant

(picture stolen from aubrey's blog)


i don't often write about the bible and theology. its just not my style. i'd rather tell humorous stories or use life to illustrate biblical principles.

but today is different.

today we celebrate (?) the death of a man (God).

i have a reading and reflection schedule for passion week that i've been doing for a few years now.

it starts on palm sunday by reading the gospel accounts of "the triumphal entry".

it continues monday through friday with reading the rest of the gospel accounts of the passion week.

friday afternoon (before good friday service) i watch Mel Gibson's Passion.

it concludes with easter sunday.


but


this year was different. easter snuck up on me. i really haven't reflected on it much at all.

until this morning.

i read through john's version of jesus' final day (it was totally ritual...no feeling to it).

so, i read isiah 52:13-53:12

i was moved. here are _my thoughts

[53:3]
jesus was a man of sorrow and acquainted with grief
[53:4]
he bears our grief and carries our sorrows

_he is able to bear our grief and sorrows, because he first suffered. he experienced it.

he hurt.
he felt rejection.
he was lonely.
he longed for justice.
he pined for love.

so do i.

he bears that for me!

[53:4-5]
he bears !our! griefs
he carries !our! sorrows
he was wounded for !our! transgressions
he was crushed for !our! iniquities

his chastisement brought !us! peace
his stripes healed !us!

_for __________ (insert your name here)

jesus took !our!

grief
sorrow
transgressions
iniquities

and gave !us!

peace
healing

[53:6]
{the Lord} has laid on him our iniquities
[53:10-11]
it was the {will of the Lord} to crush him
{he} has put him to grief
the {will of the Lord} shall prosper

_it was God's will to do this for us

[53:11-12]
he makes !us! righteous
he bears !our! iniquities
he bears !our! sins
he makes intercession for !us!

_he takes our sin and make us righteous



schedules and rituals can be good. i love reflection on that final week of jesus' life.

but sometimes our schedules can dull our hearts.

the spirit rocked my heart today with something new.

i'm still going to watch passion this afternoon, but now i feel i'll be able to do it in a spirit of worship and true reflection.