My roommate, Greg, went for a bike ride this morning and while out took these pictures.
As he showed them to me this evening my heart was filled with...something...I still can't place the emotion. Maybe it was a combination of emotions...
joy
freedom
longing
I wasn't even there, but I can hear them laughing. I can hear their foreign tongue spitting out insults that I haven't learned yet. I can hear them pretending to be somewhere/somebody/sometime that they are not. I can hear youth.
It's been really hot here. Summer is [here] coming. The 3 months that I work 9 months for is on the horizon...literally. When the sun rises tomorrow I'll be off to Prague to get ready for our interns who arrive on Tuesday. The time for work is here.
It's a strange feeling...this growing up.
The coming heat used to signal freedom. It used to be a signal that lakes and waterskiing and bridge-jumping and wiffle ball and bike rides and roller coasters and (your favorite summer memory here) were coming. But now, it signals the busiest time of the year. It is still the most exciting time of the year for me. But its different. There is responsibilty and caring for others and deadlines and problems (oh the problems) and (your growing pain here).
That's the weird thing about growing up. When we're young we are always dreaming about what we want to be when we're older and how much better it'll be when I'm 16, 18, 21, [enter your desired age here]. And now we are older and we are dreaming of how we wish we could go back to those ages when our dreams were still attainable, we had no responsiblitiy, and now we're looking kcab <-- to 16, 18, 21 [enter any year lower than your current age here].
I want to be content with the age I. But not just that. I don't want to stay there...in contentment...I want to be content with the age that I am
AND
LIVE IN THE
joy
anticipation
freedom
dreams
adventure
THAT BOYS LIVE IN
I want to stop and swing.
3 comments:
wow i really like those pictures.
Nate, I love those pictures, the moment I look at them I feel nostalgic...I also really resonate with what you say here, and in your blog about Peter Pan, about growing up. Its a harsh reality, and as I get older I am learning that certain responsibilities are unavoidable. Yikes. Anyway, nice to know I'm not the only one slightly terrified of conforming to boring adulthood. Your writing here really is awesome. Thanks Nate. Look forward to seeing you this summer brother.
awesome picts! and i loved your thoughts on careless summers... it helped me in my last week meltdown... to know i am not alone.
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