Sunday, May 29, 2005

Please, someone, notice me...

This is my sin. I've known it for awhile, but it became very apparent the other day. I'm not going to state the incident, because then it would fulfill my desire to be recognized (and maybe even writing this is do the same...) but a few days ago I was performing a task that no one knew I was doing. An overwhelming desire to be praised for what I was doing swept over me. The funny thing is that it wasn't even anything big or important. It was a small task and yet, I found myself yearning to be noticed. I couldn't get over it. For probably ten minutes I was fighting this inner battle of desiring to be known and knowing that it would be unfulfilling. I don't really know why I want to be noticed, why I desire praise, but I do. It is terrible. My prayer is that God would begin to refine that area of my life. I pray that He would purge the glory-seeking part of me and turn it to glory-seeking for Him. This is so difficult to give up. I want to be noticed. This is my sin.

2 comments:

Smartel said...

Dude, Nate, me too! And I want God to change me, but I am afraid of how the changing will take place.

Brett Berger said...

I know how he does it! You get rejected a lot.