Sunday, October 29, 2006

The things I learned being a father...



So, Mel and Amy (my close missionary friends here in Cesky Tesin), got back today from 12 days in the States. While they were gone I got the privilege of helping to watch their three kids. Before I say anything, I just have to say that these kids are three of the best kids I know...seriously. I love them a TON. I am at their house at least once a week and hang out (ahem, uh, play video games) with Noah, the youngest, about once a week. But over the past 12 days I learned a ton living life with them.

1. I now know why parents are so eager to get home to their kids. I've often wondered why parents in ministry (specifically Mel and Amy, Goz and Tami, and Jason and Shannon) would leave an awesome ministry event early to get home to their kids. Now, don't get me wrong, I am all for family, but I always wondered why they were so urgent to leave...now I know. Last Friday, Lucka and I had a meeting in a town about 45 minutes away. We had told the kids we'd be back by around 4. The meeting ended up ending at four and we still had errands to run before we could go home...the entire last part of the meeting and as we were trying to leave I could only thing, "we have to get home to the kids..." I couldn't believe it. And it WASN'T because I was worried about them, it was because I genuinely missed them and I knew they missed us.

Goz, Tami, Jason, Shannon, Mel, and Amy: I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND NOW!



2. On Thursday night, Noah and Hayley (the middle one) had friends over. I couldn't believe how much they changed when their friends were there...and NOT for the good. It seemed like everything that we'd been working on throughout the week was lost when their friends arrived. They started doing things that they never did when their friends weren't there...I couldn't believe it. It immediately reminded me of how pissed my dad would get at me when I had my friends over. I never understood it, but I now I know...it was because I was acting a fool when my friends were over.

Dad: I'm so sorry for being an idiot whenever I had friends over.

*Side note: the kids weren't being terrible...it was just little things...but enough to notice...



3. Good parenting while they are young pays BIG dividends when the kids are older. Noah, Hayley, and Hannah are some of the most obedient and well behaved kids I've ever been around. They still fight, they still want to stay up past their bed time, they still don't want to do their chores, but when I had to get firm, they submitted. This isn't normal.

Mel and Amy: you have done a superb job raising these kids. I can only hope that my kids turn out as exceptional as yours!



4. Parents need to be on the same team. Lucka has watched these kids more times than she can count. I helped a little last year, but she is the one with all the knowledge. She knows the bedtimes, where they have to be, at what time, on which days, etc. So, a few of the first nights, she would tell the kids that they needed to be in bed by such-and-such a time and I would (trying to be the cool father) contradict her and say, "come on, Lucka, they can finish watching this show". She would get so pissed. She wouldn't say it, but I'd get those eyes...husbands, I'm sure you know them...I never did until this week. This happened a couple different times until finally Lucka said that I had to stop contradicting her. So, I worked on it and got better. Then one night, to spite me, Lucka totally contradicted me when I asked Noah to do something.

Lucka: Don't ever contradict me again!

The past 12 days have been tons of fun and such a blessing for me. I learned things from this time that will be invaluable when I raise my own kids.

3 comments:

The Syvertsens said...

Well, you showed your cards. Big mistake. Chris and I would love for you to babysit Owen for a few weeks. Up for it? Great. Thanks!

Contact numbers are on the fridge. We'll give you the rest of the lowdown when you get here...

Laura ;)

Lee Ann Barton said...

You totally sounded like a married couple all week...awww ha I would let you watch my kids anyday. ;)
so whats the plan friend, you staying with us or what when you come state side?

Joe Gordon said...

Nate. I'm not a bit shocked you played the 'cool' parent. ;)