and I know why.
Over the past couple years I've had four friends get divorced. Three in the past year.
The last one occurred on Monday.
It was one of the saddest moments of my life.
My friend did all that he could to save this marriage. Granted, he made some mistakes along the way (none justifying divorce) that lead to his wife asking for the divorce, but he still pursued her with abandon up until the end. He never signed any papers and it went into default.
God's timing was perfect in this as I was in Arizona over the weekend and was able to walk with my brother through this tough time and was able to be there (with some other friends) at the final hearing.
We prayed as we sat in the courtroom awaiting the case to go before the judge. But as I did, God told me to talk to the girl.
I tried praying again. God told me to talk to the girl.
After a third time of trying to pray, God again told me to talk to the girl. This time I thought, "What if my words could help save this marriage."
Having been in the wedding, I know this girl well, so I knelt beside her, put my arm around her and whispered,
"You know I love you, right?"
She nodded her head.
"Seriously, you know I love you."
She nodded her head again.
"You don't have to do this. It isn't too late to save your marriage. Just because you've paid for a lawyer, it isn't too late. Just because you've filled out all the paperwork, it isn't too late. Just because we are sitting in the courtroom, it isn't too late. I know that if you choose to stick with this, God will honor it. It may be difficult, but I know that God will honor your decision."
As these words poured out of my mouth, she continued nodding her head. I'm not sure if it was automated or because she was accepting these words. My guess was that in the emotion of the entire thing she didn't know what else to do.
I told her again that I love her, hugged her, and sat back down with the boys.
Their case was next and I wish the outcome was positive.
The saddest moment of the whole thing and one of the saddest moments of my life was when the judge asked, "Do you believe that this marriage is unreconcilable and broken?" And she answered, "Yes."
Part of me wanted to throw up right there. The other part wanted to stand up and shout, "That is bull. You can save this marriage." It was a serious low.
I have never been this close to a divorce before. I've never seen it from the inside. I've never watched it happen. I've never prayed so much with a brother. I've never begged God so much to change a girls heart to save a marriage. It was sad.
I am glad that I was able to stand with my brother. I experienced the body of Christ with him. On Sunday night I watched him go in and out of a prayer room at our church with multiple groups of people praying for him. It was powerful to see the body rally around this broken brother. I'm blessed that I got to be a part of it.
But, regardless of how God received glory in this, I hated it. I hated watching her reject him and reject Him.
I'm sure God hated it too.