Sunday, January 01, 2006

Crazy New Year's Day: Part One

It is late on the first and I had to post a story before I went to bed. This will be the first of two funny stories from my New Year's.

Marisa left this morning. She was here for three weeks (hence the lack of blog posting!) and we had a great time together. But this post isn't to talk about out time...

This morning my stomach was feeling a little uneasy, but we had to get to the airport early, so I didn't have time to go to the bathroom. I got Marisa taken care of, we said our goodbyes, and I watched her pass through the passport checkpoint, on to her gate. Immediately after waving goodbye, I made a bee-line to the bathroom. I hustled my way in sat down and did my business. As I sat there, I heard a voice from the stall next to me. The voice startled me, but not because of what they said, but because it was a woman's voice!! I sat there in disbelief thinking, "No, no, I'm totally in the guys bathroom...aren't I." Then I heard a brutally loud fart come from another stall...this again made me question whether I was in the women's bathroom. Then I heard more voices and they were all female. "How did I make such a drastic error," I mused. As I thought back to coming into the bathroom, I couldn't remember seeing any urinals and I remembered thinking to myself, "That is unusual that all but one of the stalls is occupied..." It now all made sense; I really was in the women's room. But to finally confirm it, I took a peek at the shoes of the person next to me...yep, high heels. Mistake confirmed. Commence embarrassing scenario.

So, I sat there, and sat there, and sat some more. I thought through all my options: pull my hood over my head and run out (no, too creepy, stalkerish), yell from the stall, "Hey, there is a man in here. I'm sorry, I didn't realize I went into the women's room (no, no guarantee that anyone would understand me in English and too much trouble to try and explain myself)...the only other option was just to wait it out and hope that I can find a time when there are no women in the bathroom.

Women take forever in the bathroom. I knew this before, but nothing makes you realize it more than when you are sitting in one of the stalls! One mother and daughter had to have been in there for 10 minutes just talking to each other. I had no idea what they were doing. Before this experience I would have said that I would want to know what happens in a woman's bathroom, but now I wish I didn't know now, what I didn't know then...the loud fart, the constant chatter...it was not a pretty scene.

Eventually the talking and flushing stopped. From my position I could look under my stall and see the other stalls. I couldn't see the sink area, but I could see most of what I needed to in order to determine if someone was in the bathroom. When I didn't hear the mother and daughter any more, I made one last check from under the stall, saw no one there and made my break for it. Fortunately, no one came in and I was able to make my way to the men's room to wash my hands.

10 comments:

Mishfish said...

I walked into the girl's restroom once and saw a boy. I thought i'd made a dreadful mistake, but no, him and his girlfriend decided to have a serious talk/fight in the lady's restroom. And we stared at each other and he said he'd leave, but then I left. It was awkward.

Ordinary Radical said...

haha bro. Hilarious! I miss you man! Praying always for ya.

BAB said...

Women fart?!

Bigchumpito said...

hehe pretty funny Nate :O)

Joshua said...

I had a similar experience here at the Church. It was years ago, but I still don't feel safe using the Bathrooms here. I wasn't able to make a clean break for it like you did....

Paul Bowman said...

Hilarious bro! Fantabulous episode!

Smartel said...

Nate, this is fantastic! I have been sitting here at my desk, laughing for about 5 minutes now. So great!

Erika Jeffries said...

I completely laughed out loud at this one!

Camillajoy said...

Well, I tried to laugh quietly in my cubicle and as I kept reading, it kept getting harder. Finally, I just laughed and laughed and laughed. Sooooo good. Cami

ostrichisagooddinner said...

Nate. That was a fun story. I thouroughly enjoyed your dilema.

Southwestern Bible College. Two guys are in the shower room area or whatever. My friend todd had a towel on and he was crouched over inspecting his toenails.

His friend just got out of the shower too, but he was naked. That dude walked up to todd, pressed his cheeks against todd's shoulder, and tried to rip a fart.

Unfortunately for todd it was a wet gaser. The dude literally squirted liquid poo on todd's bare shoulder . . . I've never hugged todd.