Last night I was alone in Venice. Obviously, I wasn't totally alone, because I am traveling with my parents, sister, and brother-in-law through Europe, but I was alone. I don't think there is another city in the world (sans Paris) that can make you feel so alone. Gondolas, beautiful architecture, great Italian food, wine...it is just oozes romance.
So, as my parents walked back to the hotel and my sister and Paul rode a gondola, I took pictures and thought a lot about being alone. I was really trying to fight the feeling. I said to myself, "Self, don't feel this way. A single Christian is supposed to be joyous. You are supposed to happily wait for the right girl to come along. You should enjoy this time." But no matter how much I told myself that, I just couldn't buy it. I couldn't convince myself.
So, I walk and talked to God.
I asked Him what He thought.
He didn't respond.
I am OK with that. So I walked some more and talked to Him some more. I still didn't get any response. I was still desiring to be with someone. To have someone to share this moment with. To have someone to walk through the streets of Italy with.
So, I walked some more. Talked to God some more.
To be honest, I never really felt better. I never had that feeling go away.
Tonight, I walked around again alone. This time the setting was Florence. It's not as romantic as Venice, so I didn't think about it as much.
One thing I did realize though is that it is OK to long to be with someone. Men were created to be with women and women with man. But, on the other hand, our sexuality isn't tied to whether we are with someone or not. My maleness isn't incomplete if I don't have a wife. I have a friend who has decided to remain celebate. He feels that is his call. I respect him for that. He is so passionate about the Lord and is totally sold out to his ministry. His sexuality isn't tied to whether he has a wife or not.
So, as I sit here and ponder my singleness, I am thankful that God has created me with this desire to be with someone. I am thankful that I have Him to talk to about it. I am thankful that even if He doesn't answer or provide me with an overwhelming satisfaction of being single, that He is there. That He cares about my desire to be married.
And, I'm thankful that he hasn't given me the gift of celebacy... :)
5 comments:
Amen.
-from a fellow single Christian in her mid-twenties
Hi. I miss you. Seeing a picture of you, crazy hair and all, makes me miss you. Let's talk soon. Oh, and amen. I was telling a friend the other day that I think it is time we stop apologizing for those feelings. We can easily turn them into sin, but praise God He didn't call us all to get married and not make us with desires to be with someone. Now that would suck!
great post and love the pics!
Its never easy somtimes but at times the desires do subside.
Thank goodness for prayer!=)
For me, I do believe if they are his desires they will be back at his time for the right one.
U know what super sucks!
Loving somone who is not ava that is the worst.
reasons:
Maybe he doesn't even notice me
He has his own journey with God
Maybe I am just not the one..
I am praying daily to be in Gods will its been a couple of weeks and no thoughts of him. YEAH!
It will suck again when he calls and or worse he tells me he is with somone else...oh that would super dooper suck!
I want him to be happy so I keep praying God your will be done.Let me forget him and let him forget me and that were really good freinds.
If God wants us together he can do it...change his heart.
In the meantime,I am keeping my eyes forward trying to stop looking to the left or the right.
It is really hard I feel really alone too somtmes..your post came only days after some heavy tears.
I just want to do the right thing.
I pray to enjoy this dance of singleness right now I will never have again..
Hey pal
Right there with you. I know the ups and downs of this walk.
See you soon.
G
Let's burn Paris and Venice to the ground!
Achtung! October 17th is coming quickly.
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