dread update #3: no rubberbands

progress:

took rubberbands out.

hair is more frizzy.

look like a bum.

I got airpuffed at PDX

I knew that having dreads would typecast me. I hate when people typecast. I hate preconceptions. I actually think that is a little of the reason that I have dreads…maybe it is a lot of the reason. I don’t want to fit into the mold of the clean-cut, nicely dressed missionary. Those who know me, know that I am definitely not that! I like being different...doing things differently. Part of it is just being fun and part of it is to challenge the status quo.

Anyways…this morning I totally got typecasted at Portland International Airport. I was going through security and before I got through Big Tall Security Man called me aside to stand in the Air-Puff-A-Rama. So, I stand in this ten foot tall glass machine, the guy tells me to stand still, and then puh-puh-puh-puh-puh…I get blasted with about eight to ten puffs of air! So, I’m like, “What the freak is this thing.” Then Big Tall Security Man tells me I’m finished. I ask Big Tall Security Man, “What was that for?” He replies, “Explosives and Drugs.” Oh drugs…that totally explains it.

So, I’ve been typecasted. I’m sure there is more of that to come.

America - its different here

So, I've been in the States for almost five days now. It is different than Czech. Here are some interesting facts from the first week.

- I can speak English here.

- I can say "hi" to random people on the street.

- I've eaten mexican food three straight days...and it is cooked by Mexicans!

- I don't have to take my shoes off when I go into someone's home.

- I don't have to eat every morsel of food from my plate.

- I drive an automatic transmission.

- I can turn right on red.

- I am transfixed by television. Even the commercials hold my gaze.

- When I go to a store I don't have to think of what I'm going to say before I go in...I can just walk in and say it.

- Oregon is beautiful.

- Starbucks is everywhere...and oh so delightful.

Merry Christmas

Please remember the reason for the season!

These are my gifts to you...enjoy!

songs for when i want to throw myself from a window

yep, i just created that playlist.

it's been one of those nights.

i really can't articulate why (it would take too long). and its basically ministry/logistics related, so you wouldn't feel the impact even if i did explain it.

so, here is what i have on there:

redeemer - nicole c. mullen
just who i am - matt gibson
psalm 143 (revive me) - shane & shane
blessed be your name - passion band
only you - david crowder band
enough - passion band
*it is still a work in progress*

i like worship music. but i don't listen to it all the time. i listen to quite a variety of other things usually. but it seems that when things really hit the fan there is little else that will ground me like worship.

it points me to HIM.

it reminds me of who the CREATOR is.

it reminds me that HE is more than enough.

when all i want to do is complain, worry, disappear...it knocks me to my knees.

my "go to" song is REDEEMER. if i've got time for one. if i have 5 minutes (or 4:56 to be exact) to listen to a song, that's the one.

what do you listen to?

2 Years, 100 Posts

Happy Blogaversary to me,
Happy Blogaversary to me,
Happy Blogaversary, dear naaay-aaate,
Happy Blogaversary to me.

Two years ago today I was sitting in the lobby of a resort on Kauai. I had just finished seminary and was on vacation with my family. I started a blog to chronicle the time leading up to Czech and to share my experiences while in Czech. So much has happened in the last two years.

I've tried to let you in.

I've tried to let you experience life through my eyes (however twisted it may be at times).

I've tried to let you into my heart. To hear why it beats.

I've tried to show you the many faces (and hairstyles) of nate.

I've tried to share my art.

I've tried to share me.

I know that I have been blessed by your comments, emails, and encouragement.

I hope that in some small way I have been a blessing to you.

To another two years (and more...)

*raise glass, look each other in the eye, clink, pound the table, tip it back*

halina

dan

earth and heaven

sunset tonight

sepia madness

i don't usually like sepia. it is kinda depressing. but we went hiking in november and it was a sepia day. here is the outcome.

morning ritual

bible and coffee

top pics from vienna

art and life, life and art

i find myself intentifying a lot more with art lately. i have never been artistic. the only instrument i ever played was the clarinet (only because we had to take one year of music and it was the only instrument we had in the house). i took a few art classes in high school, but mostly because they were chill (and the teacher was cute). but over the last year or two my love of art has grown. i've started playing the guitar on a regular basis. i've found great appreciation for photography. and, i've even thought about picking up a paintbrush (!).



i just returned from vienna. one of the great things about vienna is the multitude of art galleries and museums. yesterday we spent a couple hours at the albertina. they were hosting a picasso exhibit. ever since i saw picasso in dc in '98, i have loved his art. this particular exhibit was from the last decade of his life. probably a little too much anatomy for my taste, but still enjoyable.



while picasso was the draw, i was super impressed by two other artists that we saw. one famous, one not-so-famous. the famous one is andy warhol. we've all seen his pop art pictures, but to see them close up and to see the texture and the layering he used was quite impressive. posters and prints fail to do his work justice.



the other artist is a man by the name of franz gertsch. he is "famous" for his woodcuts. woodcut is where you take a piece of wood and carve your image into the wood. you then roll paint onto the wood, lay canvas or paper over the top of the wood and allow the paint to display your image onto the canvas. its like a big stamp. what makes gertsch's art so amazing is that his pieces are about 30x20 feet. they were massive. the above picture can't truly capture the unbelievable detail that went into making these woodcuts.

but, while standing in the midst of four of these enormous woodcuts and marvelling about how amazing art is, this Chilean boy (maybe 1 year old) caught my attention. his parents were letting him crawl around and we made eye contact. i waved. he gooed. i waved again. he gooed and crawled towards me. i hunched down, waved again. he gooed again and crawled closer. he came right to me. i grabbed him and held him so he was standing. he touched my beard. we "talked". he tried to break my bracelets. his mom came over. told me his name was tomas and that he'd never seen a beard before (apparently they don't have those in chile). we pried the bracelets from his kung-fu grip. we "talked" some more. i gave him back to his mom. we connected.

as i stood amidst all this wonderful art. i came face to face with true art.

us.

life.

babies.

i thought a lot about life and art for the rest of the day. how we are God's masterpiece. we are created in his image. he is beauty and somehow we are that beauty personified.

i thought about tomas. about how life connects. about how for five minutes in vienna a chilean baby and a 28-year old dreaded american connected.

life is art.

tomas is art.

*side note: in an effort to display some of my photography and to make it to 100 posts by my two-year blogiversary, i will be going on a post explosion over the next five days. so, enjoy.

www.

So, I was thinking. How in the heck did the dudes who invented the world wide web have enough foresight to think that it would go world wide.

"Bob, Do you think we could connect people all over europe using computers?"

"I think we could. But what would we call it, Al?"

"Let's call it the european wide web and we'll start all of the pages with eww."

"Sounds like a great idea, Al, but don't you think that it could stretch into asia also."

"Good point, Bob, lets call it eaww, the eurasian wide web...actually, maybe it will stretch to the entire eastern hemisphere. We'll settle with ehww."

"Why stop there, Al? Let's go for the world!! www. sounds great to me."

"Who knows, though, maybe by the time this thing gets kick started people will be living in outer space. What about the osww."

"Come on. Now your really stretching it. Let's just stick with www. and hope for the best."

"OK."

dread update: one week

Before I get to the pics I have a few things to say about dreads.

1. They are spelled dreads, not dreds.
2. They are a lot more work than I thought they would be.
3. There is an instant community that you join once you have dreads. I've already talked to a couple from Poland on the street.
4. I never thought I'd be walking around Cesky Tesin looking for "shampoo without residue" or "good hair wax".

OK, here are the latest pictures.

the day my parents have been dreding...

I have been wanting dreds for a while now. I mean, really, why else would I have let my hair get so unbelievably long! So, it has finally happened. While at our annual Thanksgiving Gathering, one of my friends, Erin, said she knew how to do them. After hours of talking, getting caught up on The Office, watching football, playing Risk, and with some help from Lucka, I now have dreds.



I've learned a lot about dreds and how they work over the last few days. One thing I found out is that it takes about a month or two before they really start looking good. To stay up to date on "Dred Watch" (waa-konggg), check out this site for regular updates...

what ben said sarah said

I am a HUGE Death Cab For Cutie fan. Maybe not as big as Seth Cohen (yeah, I watch The O.C.), but, still, a big fan. Sometimes I wonder if I were married if I would like them as much. I mean, Ben Gibbard writes amazing lyrics, but for the most part they are all about relationships...most of which are broken, trying to be fixed, long distance, trying to get back together, etc.

But there is one song that I've been thinking a lot about lately. It's called "What Sarah Said". It's a song about friends at a hospital watching their friend die. And it's what Sarah said that is the crux of the song.

"Love is watching someone die."

I really want to write a book about fellowship with my friend Sarah. I come from an amazing group of friends back in AZ and I've always known that there is something that is unique about our group. While brainstorming about the book, I've often pondered, "What made our group so different? So tight?"

Unfortunately, one of the things that has made us so close is death. We have lost two really close girl friends and one of our friends' dad. When I think of some of the times that really brought us close, I think to those days surrounding death.

Kulia died of cancer.

It was long.

It was painful.

There were many days and nights that we spent with her from when she found out to times in the hospital to the end.

But, it brought us close to her and close to one another.

When I think about what made my friends and I tight, I think about hanging out at Kulia's. I think about helping her move back home. I think about visiting her at the hospital. I think about hanging out with Greg the day his dad died and many nights afterwards.

You know who your friends are by who is there when you are dying...

I discussed this with my friends here (in Czech) the other night. There are some people that I'd live at the hospital for. If they were dying I'd be there all day. There are people who would do that for me. There are people who I wouldn't do that for. There are people who wouldn't do that for me.

"Love is watching someone die."

In the song, Ben asks the next logical question, "Who's gonna watch me die?"

I know this is a Debbie Downer post, but I think it amazing that we can be so affected by life...by death, that it somehow unites our souls. That one life can challenge us, can cause us to grieve, cause us to rejoice, cause us to think, cause us live...

That is something that science can't quantify.

God created us a relational beings. There is something in life. Some invisible force (or spirit, or something) that causes us to long for relationship...

...for belonging

...for love

It's what makes life and death so great and so painful. It's why as you read this you are thinking about loved ones you've lost and your heart grieves. But when you think to their life, you can't help but smile. You can't help but be filled with that bitter-sweet feeling that comes with remembering a good time with someone you've lost.

I remember trying to fix Kulia's broken down car in a monsoon in front of Blue Burrito.

We were soaked.

We were laughing.

Right now, I'm smiling.

We can mark people's lives by the way we love them.

So, I wonder, "Who's gonna watch me die?"

i am the church.

do you want to see the church?

the diversity?

the beauty?

the culture?

the young and old?

see the church.

The things I learned being a father...

So, Mel and Amy (my close missionary friends here in Cesky Tesin), got back today from 12 days in the States. While they were gone I got the privilege of helping to watch their three kids. Before I say anything, I just have to say that these kids are three of the best kids I know...seriously. I love them a TON. I am at their house at least once a week and hang out (ahem, uh, play video games) with Noah, the youngest, about once a week. But over the past 12 days I learned a ton living life with them.

1. I now know why parents are so eager to get home to their kids. I've often wondered why parents in ministry (specifically Mel and Amy, Goz and Tami, and Jason and Shannon) would leave an awesome ministry event early to get home to their kids. Now, don't get me wrong, I am all for family, but I always wondered why they were so urgent to leave...now I know. Last Friday, Lucka and I had a meeting in a town about 45 minutes away. We had told the kids we'd be back by around 4. The meeting ended up ending at four and we still had errands to run before we could go home...the entire last part of the meeting and as we were trying to leave I could only thing, "we have to get home to the kids..." I couldn't believe it. And it WASN'T because I was worried about them, it was because I genuinely missed them and I knew they missed us.

Goz, Tami, Jason, Shannon, Mel, and Amy: I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND NOW!



2. On Thursday night, Noah and Hayley (the middle one) had friends over. I couldn't believe how much they changed when their friends were there...and NOT for the good. It seemed like everything that we'd been working on throughout the week was lost when their friends arrived. They started doing things that they never did when their friends weren't there...I couldn't believe it. It immediately reminded me of how pissed my dad would get at me when I had my friends over. I never understood it, but I now I know...it was because I was acting a fool when my friends were over.

Dad: I'm so sorry for being an idiot whenever I had friends over.

*Side note: the kids weren't being terrible...it was just little things...but enough to notice...



3. Good parenting while they are young pays BIG dividends when the kids are older. Noah, Hayley, and Hannah are some of the most obedient and well behaved kids I've ever been around. They still fight, they still want to stay up past their bed time, they still don't want to do their chores, but when I had to get firm, they submitted. This isn't normal.

Mel and Amy: you have done a superb job raising these kids. I can only hope that my kids turn out as exceptional as yours!



4. Parents need to be on the same team. Lucka has watched these kids more times than she can count. I helped a little last year, but she is the one with all the knowledge. She knows the bedtimes, where they have to be, at what time, on which days, etc. So, a few of the first nights, she would tell the kids that they needed to be in bed by such-and-such a time and I would (trying to be the cool father) contradict her and say, "come on, Lucka, they can finish watching this show". She would get so pissed. She wouldn't say it, but I'd get those eyes...husbands, I'm sure you know them...I never did until this week. This happened a couple different times until finally Lucka said that I had to stop contradicting her. So, I worked on it and got better. Then one night, to spite me, Lucka totally contradicted me when I asked Noah to do something.

Lucka: Don't ever contradict me again!

The past 12 days have been tons of fun and such a blessing for me. I learned things from this time that will be invaluable when I raise my own kids.

photo project

My friend, *thelongbrake, had a great idea to do a community photo project on his blog. He had people submit photos to him through email and then he posted them on his blog. There are some great pics on there, so check it out here.

my submission: fallen leaf.

Sydney Bristow's Czech is Terrible

I know Alias and Sydney Bristow are sooooo early '00s, but during the early '00s I was studying in Seminary, working at a church and working another job to pay the bills, so I never had time to watch all these cool TV shows. But since living in the Czech and having a little more spare time at night, I've managed to watch most of the Alias TV series.

Prague is a favorite site for Alias. Sydney and gang are continually saving people, blowing things up, and butchering the Czech language. Now, I'm not saying that my Czech is great...I'm not even saying that my Czech is good, but Sydney's Czech is terrible. I was watching an episode this afternoon and they were in Prague and to prove to her new partner that he didn't belong she said something...I thought it was French, but then after he looked at her with a blank look she said (in a very smug way I might add), "It was Czech." I actually had to rewind the show and listen to her say it again in her terrible Czech (French) accent. I could barely understand her. I totally laughed, because she was trying to prove to her partner that she belonged and he didn't and her Czech was TERRIBLE.

This really ruined a lot of the show for me...as well as many others. As Americans we have a very limited understanding of the world and especially foreign languages, so when we watch someone speaking a foreign language in a movie or on TV, it can sound so real...well, now I know it is just a hoax. Jason Bourne...Ethan Hunt...Sydney Bristow...all frauds...

Now when Sydney speaks Korean, Russian, or Portuguese...I'll always wonder if it is really any good...man, that's a shame...

It's a Small (Blogger) World After All

Cue music...OK, are you singing it, or at least humming it? Come on, join in...you know if you do it, those sweet lyrics will be cycling through your head all day...do you need some help? "It's a small world after all...it's a small world after all..." OK, good. Now enjoy the ride.

This morning my friend Bobby B sent me an email to check out one of his friend's blogs. Bobby and I love comics and this posting was about comics, so he sent me to Aubrey's Blog. It was a great post and I noticed that she had some really cool art on her site, so I clicked to make a comment and before making my comment, I read the other comments and to my shock and utter amazement (maybe that is a little hyperbolized), I see that *thelongbrake has posted a comment on her blog.

Now, *thelongbrake is a good friend that I met in the Czech in the summer of '05. He was serving in Slovakia for the summer. He and his friend wrote a funny blog that I read. Then he came back to the Czech this last summer at the tail end of his euro trip. We hung out a lot. Laughed a lot. Went to Poland together. Stormed a castle in Krakow. Hadukened kids. Had fun. I read his blog often.

I don't know Aubrey...I mean, we may have met once...but I don't really remember. I've heard a lot about her, because my friends Bobby and Kyle are starting a church with her and I've heard she is a cool artist.

So, all that to say, I thought it was bizarre that when checking out a blog from someone I don't really know, I saw a post from someone I do know and I don't know how they know each other.

"It's a small, small world..."

The Face of JV?

Would you want this to be the face of your mission organization? I wouldn't either, but for some reason (and a lot of alcohol), some "higher ups" have selected me and a Polish girl named Marta to represent Josiah Venture at Passion '07.

Basically, Passion only selects a couple organization from each region of the world to represent that region at their conference. JV is one of those organizations for Europe. It is a huge honor for us to have been selected. Then each organization gets to select two people who will represent their organization in the actual GO Center. I feel really honored to be one of those that will get to represent the need for more laborers in Europe.

Oh, by the way, here is a picture of Marta.



She is pretty. When we found out that we had been selected she said, "Your the cool one, I'm the blond." I can see why they chose her, but the jury is still out on me...

Spiritual Spanking

I received a spanking today. No paddle was used. I didn't have to pull my pants down. I am sitting down as I write and there is no discomfort. But, nevertheless, I received a spanking. That spanking came from the Holy Spirit. I'm pretty sure the HS doesn't look like the woman in the pic, but, well, I liked the pic. That is how I have felt the last couple of days.

I'm sitting on a nice leather couch in a hotel in the mountains near the Czech/Slovak/Polish border. It's a hotel that our organization owns and runs. Over the past week Americans and National leaders that make up JV have gathered here for our Fall Training Conference. What none of us realized before we came here is that the spiritual climate would be so rich. I don't know if I have ever entered into an atmosphere that has been so condusive to growth. I'm not the only one who has said it. The Polish Country leader said that this is the best conference he's ever been to and he has been on the field for over 10 years. Dann Spader, a well-known student ministry trainer and a JV Board member, said that he has a great sense that this conference would be a turning point for our organization. I've talked to many others who agree: the soil is rich here.

The spirit of this conference and the things that are being taught have been impacting my heart profoundly over the past couple days. It has been opening up chambers in my heart and propelling me to investigate deep areas of spiritual blindness in my life. I wish I could write everything that God is showing me. I feel like issue after issue is surfacing. I feel like issues that I have refused to turn over to God are being exposed and that I am finally ready to turn them over to Him. Since I can't write everything, I'll share and illustration that was shared with me tonight by a good friend...

We are like sailboats. And we are sailing along on this huge lake and when we go out onto the mission field its as if the lake is partially drained and all of these rocks appear. As we sail we begin running into all of these rocks. The rocks hurt and cause damage and we wonder, "Where did these come from? They weren't there before." But they were...they were there all along. They were just covered by water. That water is comfort. As a missionary, it is the comfort of America. It's the comfort of a good movie, the comfort of Oregano's, the comfort of friends and family. But when we step out of that comfort and it is drained away, we begin to experience inadequacy, incompetance, loneliness, a new culture, a foreign language, etc. and the rocks appear.

God doesn't just do this for missionaries, but I think it is just more certain that we will experience it because of our situation. God does it for people in America, but it is usally through tragedy or a drastic change in life. He drains our lake and reveals to us the rocks that have been hiding under the surface.

Yesterday my ship hit a rock. It was pretty small. Tonight I shipwrecked. I can barely think through everything that God showed me. But I know that I am at a critical point in my walk and that as I began to walk with the Spirit in these things God is going to begin to fill my lake back up. He is going to begin to fill those areas in my life and I will be able to sail in freedom knowing that those rocks are covered by Him and His grace.

Death House

One night back in the US, Joe G, Christian and I were jacking around and during the process we invented a new reality TV show. As you read this post, please remember that this is a JOKE. While twisted...it is only a joke!

The name of this reality TV show is called: Death House. It goes something like this...20 people from various backgrounds are placed in a large house/mansion/whatever. At some random point (one hour, one week, one month, etc) in their living there all the lights in the house go off, red lights come on, and a siren goes off (Whoop, Whoop, Whoop). At this point, all the people in the house fight to the death. The catch is, weapons are not allowed! So, the contestants must find the nearest mirror/picture/lamp cord/sewing machine/potted plant and use it as a weapon to destroy their enemy.

You may be wondering, "What about the butchers knife in the kitchen, that could be used as a weapon"...Your right, it could, if it weren't chained to the wall with a chain that doesn't extend further than the counter top! You also may be wondering, "Nate, what happens if someone gets overzealous and kills someone outside of the official killing time?" Well, they are killed by bayonet, of course. One shot to the stomach and then the bayonet knife through the jaw.

So, at random times, while hanging out with Christian, Joe G, and our friends, one of us will sound the alarm (whoop, whoop, whoop) and Death House will ensue. This game has traveled to the Czech is now quickly spreading to places all over the world. Here are some pictures (some of which have been emailed to me from locations all around the world)...feel free to submit your own!